My 10,000 Hour Challenge

Some of you are likely to have heard of or about the 10,000 hour rule which was popularized in Malcolm Gladwell's book 'Outliers'.
The 10,000 hour rule in summary, is a theory that suggests that in order to become an expert, or to gain mastery, in a field of one's choice, one must put in enough deliberate practice to get to that level...10,000 hours worth in fact.  
The term deliberate practice refers to practice where you are engaged and fully concentrating on what you are doing, not just messing around or doing what you like, but challenging yourself and pushing yourself to improve. 

There are mixed opinions when it comes to the '10,000 hour rule'. Some people are fully behind the concept 100%, whilst others are more on the skeptical side. I won't go into the arguments for and against as you can just Google them, but I will state my opinion on the theory.

I believe that it differs from person to person, different learning-rates and intelligence being a factor, also depending upon how you learn/the way you are taught.. I've heard that practicing 2 hours a day the wrong way is equivalent to 30 minutes practicing the right way, which is why 'deliberate' practice is mentioned, or 'quality' practice. I wouldn't say that 10,000 hours is a magical benchmark in which you automatically gain mastery status upon achievement of, but 10,000 hours is a lot of time put into a field of choice and so is feasible that you could become an expert. 10,000 hours whatever the outcome,is going to leave you in a much better position than when you first started. 

Intrigued with idea however, I decided that I would test out this theory for myself. I know that there is going to be a long road ahead and that it won't be an easy feat by any means, and is going to reveal how committed I can remain, and if I have enough self discipline for the task in front of me. If I do manage to get to the end of this long road (which I plan to), I'll be able to see if hard work really can get you to an all new standard.

To put into perspective about how much practice is required to meet the 10,000 hour benchmark, it will take you 10 years of practicing 3 hours every day of the year (365 days) to reach 10,000 hours...well 10,990 hours to be more precise. You can see the level of commitment that is required to achieve this ambitious landmark. Some inspiring and motivating present 10,000 hour challenges can be found here: TheDanPlan and DevinWilliams712.

So what is my 10,000 hour challenge? Well, some of you may be aware that I play the piano. I've managed to get past grade 8 but am definitely not an expert. I've never enjoyed practicing and have always found it a chore, so I would do the minimum I could get away with or none at all.

Around a year ago, maybe a little less, I quit lessons for various reasons. As a result of quitting lessons, I no longer 'had' to practice, and stopped playing almost altogether, familiarizing myself once or twice every couple of months before stopping again. 
However, I am now wanting to get into a consistent and self-disciplined routine where I see myself get to a much higher level.

I started the piano coming up to 10 years ago now, but because I hardy practiced - I would be surprised if I had even reached 1,500 hours of practice, and I'm guessing that around 500 of those hours is all you could say were 'quality' hours. So you can probably tell that even though I'm not new to this field, I still have so much to improve upon to even come close to an experts level.

The amount of determined practice per day that I'm going to aim for is 2-3 hours minimum. From only touching the piano a few times in the last year to setting myself a target of 2-3 hours of practice a day is going to be a big shock, but is something I'll need to get used to. 
I didn't want to do an hour a day as I felt that that was too little time to spend on improving, taking 28 years to finish!!! No, 2 - 3 hours seems like a good daily target, and I can always play much more than that if I feel like it. 

At the time of you reading this post I will be already 7 days into this monumental challenge. I will be giving updates to how I'm doing every 30 days or so.

1 Minute a day Goal

Many people have daily, weekly, monthly, and sometimes even life-long goals. The purpose of a goal is having a target you can firmly set your sights on and aiming to achieve that said target. I've already written a post about why goals are important to have in your life so I won't go into that in this article. 
If you are wanting to know why it is important to have a goal in your life, you can view that here: 'Why you Need a Goal'.


Sometimes finding the motivation to get yourself to actually commit to your goal can be tricky and so that is why a lot of people use motivational tricks to help them. 
One of these motivational tricks you can use is the '1 Minute a day goal'. It may sound too good to be true, 1 minute a day!, and I can complete my goals?, well, let me explain first. 

When we have a goal (or goals) we will need to dedicate some of our time in trying to achieve it otherwise we will never succeed in its completion. The time we dedicate in trying to finish a goal can be done once a day, once a week, or whenever we decide, etc. However, making sure that we do take time out of our day to pursue these goals can be hard and motivation is a real key to this. If we lack motivation then we aren't as likely to do something and so our self discipline needs to be at a higher level in order to make ourselves carry out this time. However, many of us aren't strict with ourselves and don't incorporate enough self-discipline to make sure we carry this out.

Something like 30 minutes everyday can help make tremendous progress towards your goal and will often help see you succeed (dependent upon your time-scale and the scale of the task), yet some people don't have enough time in the day for 30 minutes of 'goal achieving time'. So this is where the '1 minute a day goal' comes into the picture. This goal is for those of you who don't have much time at all but yet still want to pursue your goal. 

When we think of a minute, it's really no time at all - 60 seconds and it's over. The aim of this is for you to dedicate 1 minute of your time every day to pursuing your goal. 1 Minute - that's all. A minute isn't going to have an impact on your day and is very easy to motivate yourself to do...but that's the point. Because you will find it very easy to do something for only a minute, often you can easily overrun the original 60 seconds. That 1 minute then becomes 5 minutes, and that 5 minutes then becomes 10. 

Conclusion

This motivational techniques is all about getting you to commit to your goal a minute a day. The daily target is this short because it has the intention for you to overrun and spend longer. 
Realistically doing only a minute a day isn't really going to help you with your goal nearly as much as 30 minutes or an hour is, and so I wouldn't recommend it for medium-sized to larger-sized goals. But for those smaller goals and who don't have much time on their hands, this could be what you are looking for.

30 Day Pushup Challenge

After posting the 30 Day Squat Challenge for the ladies, I thought it fair to post one for the men...so here it is: the 30 day pushup challenge.
Depending upon how good you are at pushups will determine which challenge I think you should go for. If you can do 0 - 25 I would suggest trying the beginners 30 day pushup challenge. If you are someone who can do 50 pushups or upwards then I would recommend trying the advanced 30 day pushup challenge. For anyone who falls within the 26 - 49 range I would leave up to you to decide which challenge you should go for, in fact however many pushups you can do it's up to you which challenge you take on - just try to stay realistic about your abilities and don't go so far as to injure yourself.

The challenge is based on a number of reps & sets for you to complete per day. Many people who know about reps and sets won't need this explaining to them but for those of you who don't it's not something that is hard to grasp. Basically a 'rep' stands for a repetition, so if I were to do 10 reps of pushups that would mean that I have done 10 pushups - 10 repetitions.
A set is a group of reps. For example if I were to do 2 sets of 10 pushup reps that would mean I did two lots of 10 pushups. 

Beginners Pushup Challenge (30 - 90 seconds rest in between each set)

The number of sets is displayed first before the number of reps followed by the total of pushups.

Day 1: 2 x 10 (20)

Day 2: 2 x 12 (24)

Day 3: 2 x 14 (28)

Day 4: 2 x16 (32)

Day 5: Rest

Day 6: 2 x 20 (40)

Day 7: 2 x 22 (44)

Day 8: 2 x 24 (48)

Day 9: 2 x 26 (52)

Day 10: Rest

Day 11: 3 x 14 (42)

Day 12: 3 x 16 (48)

Day 13: 3 x 18 (54)

Day 14: 3 x 20 (60)

Day 15: Rest

Day 16: 3 x 22 (66)

Day 17: 3 x 24 (72)

Day 18: 3 x 26 (78)

Day 19: 3 x 28 (84)

Day 20: Rest

Day 21: 4 x 12 (48)

Day 22: 4 x 14 (56)

Day 23: 4 x 16 (62)

Day 24: 4 x 18 (68)

Day 25: Rest

Day 26: 4 x 22 (88)

Day 27: 4 x 24 (96)

Day 28: 4 x 26 (104)

Day 29: 4 x 28 (112)

Day 30: 4x 30 (120)

Total = 1,546

Advanced Pushup Challenge (30 - 90 seconds rest in between each set)

The number of sets is displayed first before the number of reps followed by the total of pushups.

Day 1: 2 x 20 (40)

Day 2: 2 x 24 (48)

Day 3: 2 x 28 (56)

Day 4: 2 x 32 (64)

Day 5: Rest

Day 6: 2 x 40 (80)

Day 7: 2 x 44 (88)

Day 8: 2 x 48 (96)

Day 9: 2 x 52 (104)

Day 10: Rest

Day 11: 3 x 28 (84)

Day 12: 3 x 32 (96)

Day 13: 3 x 36 (108)

Day 14: 3 x 40 (120)

Day 15: Rest

Day 16: 3 x 44 (132)

Day 17: 3 x 48 (144)

Day 18: 3 x 52 (156)

Day 19: 3 x 56 (168)

Day 20: Rest

Day 21: 4 x 24 (96)

Day 22: 4 x 28 (112)

Day 23: 4 x 32 (128)

Day 24: 4 x 36 (144)

Day 25: Rest

Day 26: 4 x 44 (176)

Day 27: 4 x 48 (192)

Day 28: 4 x 52 (208)

Day 29: 4 x 56 (224)

Day 30: 4 x 60 (240)

Total = 3,104

30 Day Squat Challenge

Quite recently there has been a challenge for women floating around the web that has gained much interest. It seems to becoming more and more popular, having Facebook, Tumbler, and other website pages devoted to it. I first heard about this challenge through my sister who decided to take it up, in fact it was yesterday she started. After hearing it from my sister I also found out that 3 female colleagues from work, well actually 2 colleagues as 1 of them has now got another job, so 2 colleagues and 1 ex-colleague has taken up this 30 day squat challenge. 
I hear that it is quite the challenge so prepare for some hard work!
So here is the plan:

Day 1: 50 Squats

Day 2: 55 Squats

Day 3: 60 Squats

Day 4: Rest

Day 5: 70 Squats

Day 6: 75 Squats

Day 7: 80 Squats

Day 8: Rest

Day 9: 100 Squats

Day 10: 105 Squats

Day 11: 110 Squats

Day 12: Rest

Day 13: 130 Squats

Day 14: 135 Squats

Day 15: 140 Squats

Day 16: Rest

Day 17: 150 Squats

Day 18: 155 Squats

Day 19: 160 Squats

Day 20: Rest

Day 21: 180 Squats

Day 22: 185 Squats

Day 23: 190 Squats

Day 24: Rest

Day 25: 220 Squats

Day 26: 225 Squats

Day 27: 230 Squats

Day 28: Rest

Day 29: 240 Squats

Day 30: 250 Squats

A useful motivational and tracking technique you can use to go alongside this would be the 'Don't Break the Chain' technique.
 

No Complaining Challenge Day 1

Recently I posted an article about the 'No Complaining Challenge' and said how I was going to have a go at it myself. I started on Thursday (11/04/13) and it is now a Monday (15/04/13), and yet I am writing about day 1? You may be wondering why I am doing so or maybe for some of you it's not a mystery? Well to put it bluntly: I complained! Argh! I was very disappointed in myself. 

At first it was fine, I was up early and ready to go. I was the only one in the house who was up and so talking was either to myself (thoughts out-loud I suppose) or minor comments to my dog, so complaining was easier to avoid. I spent the time getting ready for work. Once at work I noticed that not complaining became harder, mostly I think because of being around complacent colleagues, but still not complaining was manageable. After work I went to the gym and was fine throughout my workout, it was after whilst in the changing rooms that I made the complaint. I had bought some milk before heading to the gym as I had gotten a text from a family member requesting that I buy some while I was out. In the changing room the milk dropped out of my locker when I removed my bag and split...which lead to it leaking...which covered the changing room floor...which lead to my complaint. 

The next two days of the challenge went much better than the first and were absolutely complaint-free, it was the Sunday (yesterday 14/04/13) when the next complaint was made which would force me to start over. I was walking my dog at the time and was writing in my notebook (which you can read about the benefits of having here: Benefits of Writing a Notebook) when it started to rain causing my pages to get wet and causing my writing to cease, it was then a small complaint was made, and then another complaint a few seconds later about having made the first complaint.

Now today (15/04/13) is the restart of this no complaining challenge and has (so far) been complaint free. :) I think that I will be able to get further this time than previous as my recent failures have caused me to keep the no complaining rule in mind. I now have a much better understanding to how challenging this challenge is...roll on the next 20 days. :)

No Complaining Challenge

Complaining is such an easy and negative thing to do and so I am introducing this challenge, with the hope that you all try out for a learning experience as well as helping you to put off complacency. This challenge is called the 'No Complaining Challenge' and is exactly what you would expect from the title: not to complain. 

I think that whilst it's great getting people (myself included) to stop complaining, it is also a good idea for people to realise how easy it is to complain and how often they do it. I have noticed that as of recent I have been complaining more and is a habit that I am not fond of, therefore this challenge is one that I myself will try to carry out. 

I'm not just talking about those major complaints that you make but also those minor ones too. E.g. "the weathers horrible I hate it"! Also labelling someone with a negative comment such as: "(name not mentioned) is a rubbish singer, I don't want to listen to them" is not allowed. Now these may seem trivial to you but the aim of this challenge isn't to get you to become a mindless robot but to have a better grasp upon the amount of times a complaint is made by you and others - at the end of this challenge I'm hoping that people will think much more about what they're going to say instead of announcing a complaint.

A post that you may find helpful to read before taking on this challenge is: How to Stop Complaining. 

Rules

1. No Complaining

This golden rule to this challenge and is the most important one. Do not complain once, of course it wouldn't be a challenge if this was going to be easy so I expect people to break this one including myself (not on purpose)! If you aren't strict with yourself the only person you will be cheating is yourself and won't gain anything from the experience - so try your very best not to complain eve if it means stopping yourself mid-sentence to avoid doing so.  

Every time you make a single complaint, no matter how far you are into this challenge, you start right from the beginning. This may mean that you have to keep starting over but does an even better job at getting you to be thoughtful with your words. Even if you take a whole year to complete this challenge because of having to keep starting over and over, in the end the results will be good. 

The average amount of time it takes people who take on this challenge is 4 - 8 months!

2. 21 Days

You must keep this challenge up for 21 days, only doing it for 1-2 days won't pose the same challenge or have as big an impact upon the way you think and speak as 21 days will. Take note of the day you start (e.g. marking it on a calendar) and make note of when you finish.

Optional Rules

These are rules that you can either allow yourself to be bound to or not, they are fully optional and depends solely on the individual, you can include as many or as little as you want.

1. Duration

Instead of coping with this challenge for 21 day you can increase the amount of days to make it harder for you or to allow yourself more time to get into this good habit. A good step up I recommend would be to go to 35 days. This is a little over a month and it takes on average a habit 20 - 30 days to become cemented into ones life if practiced every day, so 35 (5 weeks) is perfect for making sure.

Then again hardly anyone completes this in the first 21 days as they normally will have to restart many times making it a lot longer so incorporating this rule is entirely your choice. 

2. Bracelet 

Will Brown is normally quoted as the originator of this technique and is a very simple and surprisingly effective one at that. The idea is to wear a bracelet and when you complain, take it off and place it around your other wrist and start again from day 0. 

3. Elastic Band

I've often heard of this technique when people are trying to break a habit, and that is to place an elastic band (or bands) around your wrist and each time you indulge yourself in this bad habit you in turn pull back and release the elastic band so that it snaps against your wrist. The idea of this isn't to cause yourself pain for the sake of it but that you come to associate this bad habit to the uncomfortable pinging of the elastic band(s).

4. Replace a negative with a positive

If you notice that you are about to complain or are on the verge of complaining then turn it into a positive and say it aloud. For example: "the weather is horrible" could become "we need the rain" etc.

My Writing

In my last post, it was if I'm honest, focusing on myself. So before I start this post I wanted to quickly apologise to anyone who found that last post a bit boring, however, I will also have to apologise in advance for this post as it's also another one about myself. 
Recently I have decided to start writing a story because I have an interest in writing. I am writing this story on the basis that I enjoy to write and thought that it would be neat if I could actually create myself another world almost with depth and imagination, and with an underlying ambition to hopefully get it published. Of course I realise that the part about getting it published is unlikely to happen, although it's not impossible - really for me that would be a bonus to actually managing to come up with and complete a story. 

Since then it has slowly developed but is still in it's most primitive draft-form...well I don't even know if it's that far yet, it's at the moment consisting of a lot of notes that is managing to convey a possible plot. In my last blog post I was confident that I had a plot that I was going to run with after changing it more than a few times, but I was wrong and in the last couple of days it has shifted towards another direction - one that I am more content with admittedly. 
So now I have added more notes to do with that and I am starting to get a better picture of the basics: a rough idea of the beginning; a rough idea of the middle; and not so much an exact idea of the finish haha. Oh well it's still in the very early stages. 

I've also done some character development to some of the more major characters, the ones that I know for definite are going to be in it. I haven't done any character development for the minor characters as there aren't any at the moment, I'll have to fill them in once I have made some more progress with fitting the story together. This post was really only an update about how my writing is coming along for those of you writers who are interested, for the rest of you I'm sorry. :)

My Writing Passion

I have a few hobbies that have developed over the years, some are more time-consuming and enjoyable than others but I find them all fun. One of my more recent hobbies is writing - something that has kind of surprising for me to find out. I say this because for the vast majority of my life I have always hated writing and found it a bore. In fact I had only recently started to get a taste for writing just before starting this blog, and as a result is one of the main initial reasons that spurred me to start this blog. 
Since the beginning of this blog my 'discovered' passion for writing has become more apparent to me and has been further heightened.

However, even though I have found that writing is a hobby of mine, the only time that I do write is when I write for this blog. This has always been fine for me but now I'm wanting to expand what I write about and am wanting to dive deeper into the writing world. With this in mind I have decided that I am going to attempt to write my own story and hopefully aim for it to be published. I know that this is an ambitious goal as I know it's a tough process to go through in most cases in order to get your book published. 
I have got to work on character-development and on a plot, and am seeing some progress, but I know it's going to be a long arduous journey in order to even get it near completion, but it is something that I am enjoying doing and hope that one day it may get published. :)

Don't Give Up

Is there something that you would really like to be good at or succeed in? I'm sure there is when you think about it? Maybe you've always wanted to play a musical instrument, or maybe a renowned artist, or are you wanting to become an author? We all have aspirations of what we would like to do or be good at, however, there always seems to be something that holds us back...ourselves. 

It can be very easy to say that you want to be an astronaut or want to become an artist, but like all things, you will need to put in the work and effort. Don't give up! It can be all to easy to stop when the going gets tough but remember without hard work how are you supposed to improve? It's like someone who goes to the gym and works-out. If that person doesn't put in the effort to making sure his/her muscles are working hard then there isn't going to be much improvement. 
Hard work can be tiring but is something that produces results when you keep it up, and that's what you need to keep in mind - to keep going and pushing yourself forward to your goal, your ambition!

Other people can also play a big part too. If you get people around you who are encouraging you then this will help your morale and aid you in driving onwards. On the reverse if you get people telling you that you are wasting your time and that you are never going to get anywhere with it, this can have a discouraging affect. Interestingly though when people are discouraging to you, this can also act as motivation to assist you, by wanting to prove your critics wrong and showing them that you can succeed. 

If you do find it tough and the road arduous then there will be no doubt that you will feel like quitting along the way, maybe only the once or maybe several times. When I was learning to play the piano there were many occasion that I wanted to give up but am glad now that I didn't, because now It's something that i couldn't imagine not being in my life - it's definitely a hobby that I'm grateful to have.

A thing that I do when working hard at something that has helped keep me going in many a situation is to think of who else I know is doing what I am doing. That person/or people then become my rival(s) in my head and aid in persisting with what I am doing. For example: I have recently started going to the gym, coming up to two months now, and I know a few other people who also go. I can tell you that it is hard work and sometimes I really don't feel like going, but thanks to thinking about the people I know going to the gym and working out, it unleashes my competitive side and drives me to work-out so that I can better them. I do this for a lot of things and it's something that helps me to carry on. 

In conclusion, yes if you are wanting to improve at something or be good a something or get the job of your dreams etc, you are going to have to apply yourself and work hard, just remember: don't give up. 
If you do find it hard with motivation then a trick that might interest you is this: Don't Break the Chain.

How to Get a Social Life

A social life is something that most people desire for to be content with - people who they can frequently do things with and rely on for company and support. Ideally this is what we want, however it can be hard to make new friends sometimes and sometimes just as hard to keep in contact.

There are some reasons to how and why an individual can get themselves into a predicament where they don't have a social life:

• They once preferred to be alone but now are wanting a social life
• They're embarrassed about not having much of a social life and so retreat even more
• Work takes up their life
• Friends have moved away and now they're left alone
• They've moved to a new place and don't know anyone
• A large majority of their friends in their 'social circle' has recently vanished, for example all went to college or universities. 
• They've started to become distant from their friends and don't get along as well any more. 
• They don't know how to make friends and so don't 
• They're socially awkward around others so are not able to properly communicate with others making socialising hard.
• They've made a lifestyle-change and so are trying to find a different social-climate. For example they're trying to not go to the pub any more so are trying to find people to hang out with who don't really go to the pub. 
• You and your usual friends are always busy at whenever the other one is usually free. For example unsociable working hours for one person and usual day working hours for the others. 

Alright, now to get a social life one must have friends which can be quite difficult to obtain (I mean proper friends) but once you've got them it's not so hard. So here are some steps to help you in your quest to make some friends and get a social life.

1. Pick out people who you think could become good-friends

Okay, so the first step that you will need to take in building a social-life is that of choosing some people to become friends with. Don't just choose any random person who you come across or interact with, but people you may see quite regularly or people you may talk to and get along with. It's easier to turn existing acquaintances into friends. 
For example: Lets say that you go to a gym once to three times a week. And in this gym you go to there is a person, or people, who you get along with and have a conversation with. Now this person, or these people, are more familiar to you than any random person you may suddenly meet as you have met and recognise one another, and so therefore would be a better candidate to become friends with.

Maybe though you do want to meet new people who you haven't met before and are wanting to make a new group of friends because you want to change the style of people you hand around with or because you just want to meet new friends. Here are some places where you will have the chance to meet new people and also where you will be able to improve relationships upon existing contacts:

• Work (a popular one)
• School/College (another popular one)
• Activity clubs 
• Pub/Club 
• Gym
• Events (maybe a local event like a village gardening fair or maybe a huge event like a music festival)
• Somewhere where you meet the same person on more than one occasion (for example a dog walk)

There are many other places where you can make friends and lasting relationships, but remember that this will require effort on your behalf.
Here are some possibilities you may find familiar and may be able to relate to, to finding potential friends and be on your way to building a social life.

• People who are in your class/workplace who you have spoken to one on or more occasion 
• People who you run into often and are friendly with (for example: if you have a dog and take it for a walk and run into the same person most days/weeks)
• Friends of friends
• Friends of family members
• A friend who you used to get along with or see but have now drifted
• Someone who has seemed like they would want to become friends with you but it never developed. 

 These are just some examples of possible people who could become friends. Try to keep yourself busy and get out of the house often - join clubs, get a job (if you don't, and is easier said than done I realise), try to live a full life and this will naturally make you a more interesting person who will have a better chance of finding friends. 
Here's a full article that you may find useful: How to Become Outgoing.

2. Get to know them better

The next and most logical step after picking likely friends would be to get to know them better. In step #1 I mentioned that you may already be talking to them a bit, so now you need to try and take it a step further and get to a stage where both of you are comfortable talking to one another. A good a place as any to start is in the process of asking them questions about themselves, from this you may be able to stem a conversation together.

Most people like it when you take an interest in them and their life and are more likely to give a better response. They will most likely ask questions about your life too. Don't give them one-word answer responses (unless that is all that is needed) but try to expand upon your answer and give them an insight into your life. Don't overwhelm them with too much information though and don't bring up something that could lower the mood, like for example sad news you've recently received, only because the other person might not know how to respond and it could bring the conversation to an end.

Also another thing is to not ask them too many questions one-after-another because whilst people are fine with answering your interest in them, not many people appreciate being bombarded with question after question.
It's also good to keep the conversation light and upbeat at this part of the developing friendship, make the occasional joke here and there where you can (try to make sure it's funny) - some people are more naturally gifted at doing this than others are. Jokes aren't a mandatory thing to do but everyone likes to be made to laugh.

Don't feel like you have to win them over in just one meeting, although if you manage to all the better, but can be done over several meetings with this person, say for example at the gym.  

3. Make Plans

Once you are comfortable with talking with one another and you both appear to get along in each others company, the next step is to make plans with them. This is one of the biggest stages of the friendship because without this step the relationship won't last. Your relationship with this person won't advance any further and they will always just remain (and you to them) the guy who I talk to at the gym, or the girl from school who I speak to during science, or the friends at work I only see when I'm at work.

Different people cope with this step in different ways, and some just hit a brick-wall and stop altogether. The more confident individuals will feel more comfortable asking another person if they want to do something than that of a shy reserved person. If you are a shy or reserved person, don't worry about rejection, because whilst it may sting at first, is surprisingly easy to get used to and the more you ask people the less you will be bothered by it.

When asking the person in question, don't come across as too keen or desperate as this will give the impression that you don't do much (even if you actually don't do much) and can sometimes be slightly unsettling for the other person - just bring it up casually into a conversation.
For example lets say you've both been talking about a film that you both want to watch and neither of you have plans to see it, it would be an opportune time to ask if they would want to go and see it with you.
Make a habit of picking up contact details as well as this will enable you to contact them outside of where you normally see them and will make it easier for future planning.

4. Always say yes to invitations when possible

Inviting people and organising events can be a troublesome task, or seem like it anyway, but when you are invited it just becomes so much easier for you. This is a golden opportunity to do something with them and you need not fear about being turned-down as they were the one(s) that wanted to spend time with you - so all you need say is yes.

Always when possible (even if you can't be bothered) say yes to people's invitations. The more you say yes to people and accept their offer to do something will mean that they will be inclined to ask you to do something again at a later date.
Although I mentioned briefly in step #3 about not worrying about rejection, it doesn't mean that people won't feel it, and in the same way you may feel rejected if someone turns down your invitation - the same is true of the individual asking you, and this may put them off of asking you to do something.

If you can't accept their invitation to do something for whatever reason, don't just tell them no and that you can't do it, do that but also come up with another date when you are free and offer to do something with them then. This will mean that although it is a no, it isn't really as you are suggesting that you still want to do something with them. This then leaves the decision back in their hands and as they were originally asking you to do something they're likely to say yes to your offer...unless they're busy. :) In which case if they are busy, then as you know that this person wants to do something with you, ask them to do something at another time.

5. Keep the relationship going

Once you've managed to do something with this person, or these people, and you both got along (or the group of you got along) and it seemed to have gone well, then now you to ask them to do something again to keep the friendship continuing.
Once you've done something once you could consider them a friend and that might be what you want: a friend to occasionally meet up with but not someone to do something with regularly. If you do however want a more consistent regular friend to hang around with then you will need to pluck up the courage to ask them to do something again. It's through doing more things together that your relationship as friends will grow. Some people this won't work with, others will be easier to do things with, but the more you do together - the closer you should become as friends.

After doing something it's probably not a good idea (well, depends on the person) to do something the day straight after unless if they suggest it, maybe the next week or so. If you do manage to maintain the friendship for a bit, then they may start to ask you to do things instead of you asking them, and when this happens then you know that it's working. Now when I said a couple of sentences ago about asking them to do something every week or so but not everyday, I'm referring to the initial stages of the friendship, obviously if you manage to become good friends then you may to hang-out most days of the week. The reason I suggest not overdoing it in the early stages is because they may have other things to do or because they've just started to do things with you they don't want to suddenly do most things with you - you don't want to become overbearing.  

Remember you can ask other people to do things with if you are feeling up to it and still maintain contact with the other person/people, this will mean that you will have more of a varied social life. 
Also you may be able to meet you new-friends friends and then over time become part of the group.

6. Don't be Picky

Your first and foremost goal here is to gain a social life, so you can't afford to be picky at this point. You may be building your growing social life with people who don't really suit your character but you will still be gaining a social life. Having a social life will be able to get you more accustomed with talking and dealing with people, which in itself is a good skill to have - especially if you are planning on meeting new friends. 
Having a social life will make your life more interesting and that will affect the way others view you - as a more interesting character. You will also be more likely to meet new people if you already have a social life and are comfortable going to new places.

7. Don't worry over rejection

I mentioned this at an earlier point in this article but I thought I'd bring it to your attention again just because of the fact that a lot of people get hung up over this.Rejection, whilst in itself can sting like a snake-bite, is not the be all and end all of this world. Everyone face it at some point of their life and everyone deals with it in different ways, but if you stop and think about it, isn't really a big thing to worry over. 

If you do experience rejection just keep in mind that billions of people around the globe will have faced that feeling or will face it at some time, and if everyone who had ever faced rejection never moved on from it - then we would not have got very far as a people. 
Rejection doesn't mean that a person doesn't like you, they probably just have their own reasons for saying no. E.g. they already have plans, they aren't really feeling up to doing something with you at the moment, other responsibilities, etc. Don't take offence. The best thing to do is to still remain friendly to them and put it in the past. 
Don't whatever you do now start to ignore them or dislike them for it as this could well cause tensions to fly between you  - it would be better for you to still be friendly to one another and talk rather than this minor mishap cause you to no longer get along. 

Conclusion

I hope that these steps and tips will help enable you to get the social life that you need, but keep in mind that it will take legwork on your behalf for you to see results. I wish you all the very best of luck. Feel free to contact me if you have any results or questions. :) 

8 Ways to Go to Bed Earlier

So I've recently been writing on the topic of sleep for the last couple of posts, so now after writing those posts I thought it would be a good idea to give a few handy tips to get to bed earlier as it's something I haven't specifically gone into. 

I realise for some getting to bed early wont be possible because of commitments they have. For example work. For me when I work later I know that I'm going to be unable to go to bed early. I would like to say that my blog is my full-time job but it's not. I also have another job that is my first source of income. So when I work a late shift which for example the last two nights 21:00 (which isn't that late), but by the time I've got home (22:30), had something to eat (23:00), and completed other minor things and got ready for bed, it's normally after midnight.

For those of you who do have a chance to go to bed earlier but are failing in doing so, hopefully some of these tips will be of help to you.

1. Decide what Time

The first thing to do when wanting to get to bed earlier would be to decide what time you would like to try and be in bed for. For example; lets say that you go to bed at midnight at the moment or maybe even later and you decide that you would like to be in bed for 10:30. 

Try not to make vague times as this will only make you push the boundaries. For example; "I want to go to bed between 10 and 11". Although this sounds reasonable and it will be easy to stick to some days, there are going to be days where you tell yourself "It's only 10 now, I don't have to be in bed until 11", and what will happen is that you'll stop what you're doing just before 11 and not give yourself enough time to get to bed and so you'll run over your limit - thus breaking the newly forming habit.

2. Cut-off time

So after you've decided what time you'd like to go to bed the next thing to do would be to set yourself a preliminary deadline or cut-off time where you stop what your doing so that you can get ready for bed and get into bed on time.

For example: say that you've decided to go to bed at 11:00. So you're cut-off time is 10:30 lets say. That gives you 30 minutes to stop what you're doing and get into bed. If you are someone who likes to read before going to bed then maybe your cut-off time will be 10:00 - it's up to you as long as you're able to make it to bed on time.

A sub-tip for this tip is to set an alarm. Set an alarm to ring when it hits your cut-off time just so that you wont forget. 

3. Avoid T.V

If you're wanting to go to bed earlier, don't watch a t.v program that runs right up until your bed-time as you'll just end up not getting to bed on time. So if for example you're wanting to get to bed for 11:00, don't decide to watch an hour long t.v program that starts at 10:00.

In fact if you're someone who likes watching t.v a lot, it would probably be best to try and avoid it altogether within an hour or two of your bedtime as it will be easy for you to get sucked-in to watching a lot more than you originally intended.

If you are wanting to reduce the amount of t.v you're watching or stop altogether then here's a previous post of mine: 8 Steps to Reduce T.V Watching.

4. Acknowledge the Time

For many people who do stay up late they don't really have a concept of what late is - not any more. They may look at the time and see it's 24:00 but yet think that they still have hours left, well, they don't. Because before you know it with that mindset it's 02:00-03:00 in the morning and you're just turning-in.

I remember when I used to go to bed all the time on the other side of midnight in the early hours of the next day, and I realised how my perception of what late was had changed. I can remember when I used to think 10:00 was late, then when  I started to stay up until 11:00 that became the new standard of what late was. Every time I stayed up later, my concept of what late was just got shifted further and further back until I wasn't getting nearly as much sleep as I should.

Basically just be honest about the time and admit to yourself it's late when it's 12:00.

There's nothing wrong with staying up until late but it's key that you acknowledge it's late because otherwise how can you go to bed earlier if what you perceive as early is actually late?

5. Finish Text Conversations (Mainly for students)

I know what it's like to have text conversations and I realise how much time they can consume. So if you are trying to get to bed early it would be sensible to try and round off any text conversations you have with friends before you go to bed. Don't fall into the trap of texting whilst you're in bed because what's the point of going to bed at all if you're effectively staying-up anyway? You might as well not go to bed at all.

If they don't get the hint that you're trying to round-off the conversation then you could always be blunt and say "I'm going to bed now, speak to you tomorrow/soon". If they text back then you could just ignore the text, I mean you did just text them that you were going to bed. :)

6. Why do You Want to Go to Bed Earlier?

There has got to be a reason or reasons to why you want to go to bed earlier, so try to keep them in mind when you are dragging yourself off to bed - they will serve as motivation. 

If you would like to read about what can happen if you don't get enough sleep, then here's a previous post of mine: 9 Effects of Sleep Deprivation.

7. Consistency

I don't know how many times I've stressed this in other posts but "consistency breeds momentum". Whenever you're trying to form a new habit the main thing to do is to remain consistent. This is the best way to get your body into the rhythm of your new habit (in this case bed-time) and before you know it it will feel like normal. 

I've written a previous post about a motivational technique that is based upon consistency: Don't Break the Chain.

8. Reward

A popular motivational trick a lot of people use for when wanting to start and stick to something is to reward themselves after completing a mini-goal. For example: So you do decide to go to bed earlier and so for every two weeks of completing doing so you treat yourself to a film at the cinemas or something of similar nature etc.

Conclusion

If you do start going to bed earlier and you are able to stick at doing so for an extended period of time (something like 3-4 weeks or more) you'll already be able to feel the difference; the amount of energy you have, your personality and behaviour, your confidence, and your health.

How to get Yourself to Read More

When you sit down to read something are you someone who can stay there for a good couple of hours engrossed? Or are you someone who has trouble staying focused for just a couple of minutes? Well, if you're the latter, hopefully this post will be of some help to you.

1. Pinpoint the reason for wanting to read

Why do you want to read? This is the first question that you should ask yourself. Maybe it's because you want to improve your reading ability or maybe it's because it's something that you think you would (or know that you) enjoy. 

If you don't know why you want to read then what's the point of reading at all?

If you want to see some of the benefits that reading brings then click on the link: 'The Benefits of Reading'.

2. Start with material that interests you

If you're not used to reading and are trying to get into the habit of reading, then the last thing that you would want to do would be to read something that doesn't interest you. Doing this will most likely put you off reading all the more and potentially stop you all together.

So the best thing to do would be to read things that do capture your interest or spark your curiosity - it's these that will allow you to maintain reading as you will want to read, and when you want to read it no longer becomes something that is forced. 

Asking other people's opinions on what they would recommend is a good thing to do because usually a person will recommend a book that has had enough of an impact to come to the surface in answer to your question, meaning that it's a good possibility that it will be a captivating read - as long as you ask someone who has similar interests to you (reading-wise).

3. Start with a short/moderate length book

When wanting to try and get yourself to read more, it's not necessary for you to start reading 1000 page books in hope that you're going to be able to keep it up because more than likely you wont. This tip goes well with point #2 in that not only should you pick a short to moderate length book to begin with, but you should also try to make sure that you enjoy it. It will make reading a lot easier for you if you enjoy it and if it's short it won't feel like you're having to slog through it. 

Sure you can start with huge pieces of reading material but it's most likely going to be another thing that could put you off. In time once you've got used to reading short/moderate length books you can then start to increase length.

4. Identify when you're most likely to read

There are some points during the day where we naturally are able to concentrate on a book more than usual, whether that be early morning or late at night. It's important to recognise these "peak" reading times when momentum and focus comes easier. Getting yourself to read at these times will be brilliant for getting you into (or reintroducing you to) reading.

I'll give you an example: for me my most optimal time to read would be at night before I go to bed. I can just concentrate so much more on a book at this time rather than, lets say, the middle of the day. So if I am to read it will normally always be at this time - unless if I really get into a book and read it all the time. :)

5. Set aside time each day

Sometimes we have so many things to fit into the day it can seem hard getting round to doing everything. So making sure that you schedule in some time for reading will definitely help as you will know how long reading will last for and that will enable you to be able to find some time to allow it to occur. 

For example: you may only be able to fit in 10 minutes, so you have a known set amount of time, and this will enable to not only plan around that 10 minutes or be able to squeeze that 10 minutes somewhere, but will also get you into the habit of reading and soon it will become part of your daily routine. Goes well with point #4.

6. Try a variety of genres

You may know what sort of things you like to read and what you don't - brilliant. 
Some of you who read this won't know what they like when it comes to reading. So I would suggest going to a local library (somewhere where you don't have to pay) and collecting a wide variety of books from different genres, or borrowing some off of other people you know. 

Start with one of the books and if you can't get into it (say something like 2-6 chapters in depending upon how long they are ) and are finding it a struggle then I would suggest moving onto the next book. 

Eventually you are bound to come across a genre you like; whether that's sci/fi, biographies, cookery, history, fantasy, fiction, non-fiction, religious, science, music, etc. 

Even if you do know what you like and don't, it can still be good to try other genres you maybe haven't had chance to try before, because who knows, you may find another genre that appeals to you. 

Conclusion

Once you've got into the habit of reading you can then move on to more complex material and things that you usually wouldn't go for. It's getting into the habit of reading that's the hard part, once you get there it's not so bad. I've written a previous post called 'How to Enforce a New Habit' if you're interested.

Why you Need a Goal

We all know about the act of having and setting a goal right. You focus on something that you want to achieve and accomplish, and then you go about trying to do just that.

I'm sure that the vast majority of you who are reading this, at some point or another in your life, have set yourself a goal. It may have only been a short-term goal, it may have been a long-term goal, but I'm sure that you're familiar with the process of goal-setting. 

Setting a goal is the first step you take to accomplishing that goal because without a goal there's nothing to accomplish in the first place. From here it's just going through the actions and steps that are needed to complete that goal.

There are some valid reasons why you should set yourself goals and not just on occasions but regularly, incorporating them into your daily life.

1. Causes Change

The biggest and most profound effect that a goal can have on your life is change. If you want to change your current position then you will need to set yourself a goal, without doing so will mean your situation will never change because you will have no motivation to do so. Every day that passes by is another opportunity to begin the process of change and set yourself a goal. Every day that goes by and a goal is not set is an opportunity missed.

Now there are some people who are more passive than others and are completely happy with their life and are not really bothered about change or goal-setting - and that's completely fine. However, for a lot of people, whilst change can be scary, it will need to happen if you want to achieve your goal(s).

2. Causes ambition

Having something tangible for you to strive for will allow for the creation of ambition. A personal goal is a representation of what you want, not the goal of somebody else, but your own goal. It's this personal goal that you have and that you want to see achieved is what will help drive you forward and create the ambition needed.

Without having a goal it is almost, if not fully, impossible to have ambition. Without ambition nothing will change or happen in the way that you want. So having a goal is definitely a part of ambition.

3. Keeps you to a high standard

A goal is not only a source of drive and change, but also a challenge for you to raise your standards. This is something that will naturally occur with goal-setting.

The purpose of setting a goal is to try and achieve something that you haven't done before or aren't yet at the standard to achieve. This is where to achieve your goal you must need to go through the process of growing and raising your game to the point where that goal becomes reachable and grab-able.

4. Less likely to be distracted

It's very easy to become distracted, probably in today's age more than ever, and can be very annoying for you when you're not wanting to be distracted. Having a goal will allow you to have a clear target and point of focus so that when distractions come up, you're still able to know where you are heading and why.

It's having a worthwhile goal that enables our minds to not become as easily distracted because you want to achieve your goal.

If you would like to read more about concentration, here's a previous post of mine: Concentration techniques.

5. Helps to boost productivity

Having a personal goal that you will need to work for to achieve will have a positive correlation with that of productivity and will help to ward off procrastinating behaviour. Motivating yourself to be productive and not letting yourself waste time can be a truly difficult thing to do, but having a goal to aspire for will help you to remain determined to keep being active in your goal-aspirations.

If you would like to read more on becoming more productive, here's an earlier post of mine: 21 ways to boost productivity.  

6. Boosts confidence

Now I'm not saying that having a goal will turn the shyest of people to become the most outgoing, overconfident of people - this isn't realistic, although I don't doubt that it could happen (if that was your goal). What I'm saying is by having a goal and seeing the improvements you are making as the process moves further forward it can lead to a self-satisfying experience and does help to naturally boost confidence in ones own abilities.

7. Sense of achievement

This benefit comes right at the end of the process of having a goal, and that's actually completing your goal. The sense of achievement that you will feel is great when you do this, especially if it was a particularly challenging aspiration.

It's when you've fulfilled your personal goal and seen the results, you can look back and say "you know what, that was worth the effort". Being able to look back and see the change from start to finish is definitely rewarding. It will also help motivate you to set more goals to achieve. 

Conclusion

I hope that through this post you can see why having a goal is an important and powerful tool at your disposal, and is something that you should consider placing into your own life regularly if you don't already.