How to be Less Sensitive

Firstly before I get into this post, I want to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with being sensitive. In fact sensitivity often enables us to sympathize and empathize with others better than less sensitive people. So why bother becoming less sensitive?

This post isn't aimed at getting rid of a persons sensitivity, no - that would not be a good thing to strive for, but at those who are over-sensitive. Overly-sensitive people can often have problems in their day-to-day lives that other people don't, such as: overreacting to comments & situations, taking offense over trivial things, becoming upset over trivial things, feeling vulnerable and threatened, etc. These can make that persons day-to-day living harder than you might expect.
For those of you who are more sensitive than the average person and would like to put a restraint on how sensitive you are, good news, you can reduce your sensitivity.


1. Don't take Everything to Heart

Don't take offense at, or to heart, everything that somebody else says, if you do - you are going to be offended a lot. Not everyone is out to make you feel upset of distressed so don't take the things people say to heart when they have no intention of trying to cause you emotional harm. 

If you are offended over what someone says that is purposefully directed at you, have you ever thought that it could be because it's true? Sometimes the truth hurts, and when someone says something that we are unhappy with maybe it is because there is truth behind it? Say to yourself  "Is this a true statement?" and if it is, then maybe it is a justified statement? Of course not all true statements are fair to bring up and are completely unnecessary, but sometimes they are.

Another thing that can be taken the wrong way and is generally dramatized inside the mind is criticism. No-one likes criticism as it points out flaws with what you are doing and so is something you could improve upon. Now the person telling you this could be meaning it in a constructive sense or they could be doing it out of spite - lets have a look at both.
If the person is giving criticism constructively it is more than likely because:

• a) they want to help you improve where you need to improve

• b) it is vital that you improve for whatever reason (e.g. in the workplace)

• c) They feel you would benefit from the criticism by knowing where improvements could be made, and in the long-run (and short-run) be better for you.

If the criticism is given constructively then it isn't because they are wanting to bring you down or say it provoke an emotional response, they're doing it because they want to help. So don't fly off the handle or let your emotions get the better of you, just think to yourself that it can't have been nice giving the criticism and that it's good of them to want to help.

If they are doing it spitefully just for the sake of putting you down, again, don't let your emotions get the better of you. It can be very easy to allow your reaction to be based off of emotion (as so many are) rather than thought. Don't let it bother you and carry on, you can say something as simple as "okay, thanks" and just carry on doing what you are doing.

2. What Triggers your Sensitivity?

It is common for a person to be more sensitive in one area than others.  Are we reacting to what is happening now? or are we reacting upon instinct? Often when someone reacts to somebody else at the time, the person is either sad, angry, under stress, etc. These emotions can often lower someones tolerance-levels. It can be something as simple as another person asking them to do something. 

It's common for a trigger to be the result of a earlier life-event. For example: They have trouble with people in authority because they were under the authority of an over-controlling parent perhaps? This is just one example of a previous experience that could trigger a persons sensitivity to react more strongly towards a situation.
When you do feel your sensitivity wavering, stop, and think about a past experience that could be the trigger of your current emotions in the situation, and if it does stem back to a earlier event, then you have something that you need to address.

However, not all triggers are from past events and may be something that has grown and materialized over time. Look into what you find hard to deal with, and don't just have a quick think before declaring to yourself that you are fine, really look deep within yourself and have a search for what bothers you and gets your emotions going. It can be easy to avoid doing this because you avoid the sensitive issues that you don't really want to have to think about and actually want to bury and forget. As long as those feeling remain there however, the sensitivity to those issues will also remain.

3. Don't Lie to Yourself

Over sensitivity is a topic commonly avoided and can be normal for it to be a sensitive subject for others, bringing out denial. A very hard task can sometimes be realising that you too may be a sensitive person, and your characteristics and certain behaviours could actually be a way of coping with sensitive subjects. Not many people can honestly and openly admit to a problem when they have one, or spend the time contemplating on why and how it came about. These people who do though are the people who are able to make change and take hold of their problem and change. 

A big step in finding out if you are overly-sensitive around certain issues is simply by taking the step to search within yourself for answers. Sometimes this process can take hours of self-conflict to gain any results, but this is good, self-conflict indicates that you are putting effort and thought into gaining insight to how you actually feel.

4. Govern your Emotions

Much easier said than done. When you feel your emotions starting to take hold of you, or you can foresee a situation arising whereby your emotions are going to take hold, stay calm and think about what is going on. Is it really something to get worked up over? Take a deep breath and move past it, calm yourself down. Reacting in a calmer state generally produces a better outcome than when acting on pure impulse as an emotional response. You are less likely to have regrets later on too. 

5. Talk About it

Letting these sensitive issues ferment inside you isn't healthy for your well-being, they won't go away on their own and will fester inside of you. Talking to someone you trust is a great way to alleviate the burden that you hold. Opening up will not only get you thinking about these 'sore areas' but can often be a surprise to how much the subject bothers you and/or upsets you. The person will be able to comfort you and will often give advice about what they think you should do. You don't need to tell the world about it, but only 1 or 2 people who you trust. For example: a family member, a close friend, etc.

Conclusion

Keep in mind that most people aren't out to offend or hurt you, sometimes it's a persons characteristic. Find the trigger(s), keep calm, look deep within, and talk about it. Also remember that being sensitive is not a bad thing and can often aid a person in conveying sympathy to others, and can have a better view to how others are feeling at a given moment. 

No Complaining Challenge Day 1

Recently I posted an article about the 'No Complaining Challenge' and said how I was going to have a go at it myself. I started on Thursday (11/04/13) and it is now a Monday (15/04/13), and yet I am writing about day 1? You may be wondering why I am doing so or maybe for some of you it's not a mystery? Well to put it bluntly: I complained! Argh! I was very disappointed in myself. 

At first it was fine, I was up early and ready to go. I was the only one in the house who was up and so talking was either to myself (thoughts out-loud I suppose) or minor comments to my dog, so complaining was easier to avoid. I spent the time getting ready for work. Once at work I noticed that not complaining became harder, mostly I think because of being around complacent colleagues, but still not complaining was manageable. After work I went to the gym and was fine throughout my workout, it was after whilst in the changing rooms that I made the complaint. I had bought some milk before heading to the gym as I had gotten a text from a family member requesting that I buy some while I was out. In the changing room the milk dropped out of my locker when I removed my bag and split...which lead to it leaking...which covered the changing room floor...which lead to my complaint. 

The next two days of the challenge went much better than the first and were absolutely complaint-free, it was the Sunday (yesterday 14/04/13) when the next complaint was made which would force me to start over. I was walking my dog at the time and was writing in my notebook (which you can read about the benefits of having here: Benefits of Writing a Notebook) when it started to rain causing my pages to get wet and causing my writing to cease, it was then a small complaint was made, and then another complaint a few seconds later about having made the first complaint.

Now today (15/04/13) is the restart of this no complaining challenge and has (so far) been complaint free. :) I think that I will be able to get further this time than previous as my recent failures have caused me to keep the no complaining rule in mind. I now have a much better understanding to how challenging this challenge is...roll on the next 20 days. :)

No Complaining Challenge

Complaining is such an easy and negative thing to do and so I am introducing this challenge, with the hope that you all try out for a learning experience as well as helping you to put off complacency. This challenge is called the 'No Complaining Challenge' and is exactly what you would expect from the title: not to complain. 

I think that whilst it's great getting people (myself included) to stop complaining, it is also a good idea for people to realise how easy it is to complain and how often they do it. I have noticed that as of recent I have been complaining more and is a habit that I am not fond of, therefore this challenge is one that I myself will try to carry out. 

I'm not just talking about those major complaints that you make but also those minor ones too. E.g. "the weathers horrible I hate it"! Also labelling someone with a negative comment such as: "(name not mentioned) is a rubbish singer, I don't want to listen to them" is not allowed. Now these may seem trivial to you but the aim of this challenge isn't to get you to become a mindless robot but to have a better grasp upon the amount of times a complaint is made by you and others - at the end of this challenge I'm hoping that people will think much more about what they're going to say instead of announcing a complaint.

A post that you may find helpful to read before taking on this challenge is: How to Stop Complaining. 

Rules

1. No Complaining

This golden rule to this challenge and is the most important one. Do not complain once, of course it wouldn't be a challenge if this was going to be easy so I expect people to break this one including myself (not on purpose)! If you aren't strict with yourself the only person you will be cheating is yourself and won't gain anything from the experience - so try your very best not to complain eve if it means stopping yourself mid-sentence to avoid doing so.  

Every time you make a single complaint, no matter how far you are into this challenge, you start right from the beginning. This may mean that you have to keep starting over but does an even better job at getting you to be thoughtful with your words. Even if you take a whole year to complete this challenge because of having to keep starting over and over, in the end the results will be good. 

The average amount of time it takes people who take on this challenge is 4 - 8 months!

2. 21 Days

You must keep this challenge up for 21 days, only doing it for 1-2 days won't pose the same challenge or have as big an impact upon the way you think and speak as 21 days will. Take note of the day you start (e.g. marking it on a calendar) and make note of when you finish.

Optional Rules

These are rules that you can either allow yourself to be bound to or not, they are fully optional and depends solely on the individual, you can include as many or as little as you want.

1. Duration

Instead of coping with this challenge for 21 day you can increase the amount of days to make it harder for you or to allow yourself more time to get into this good habit. A good step up I recommend would be to go to 35 days. This is a little over a month and it takes on average a habit 20 - 30 days to become cemented into ones life if practiced every day, so 35 (5 weeks) is perfect for making sure.

Then again hardly anyone completes this in the first 21 days as they normally will have to restart many times making it a lot longer so incorporating this rule is entirely your choice. 

2. Bracelet 

Will Brown is normally quoted as the originator of this technique and is a very simple and surprisingly effective one at that. The idea is to wear a bracelet and when you complain, take it off and place it around your other wrist and start again from day 0. 

3. Elastic Band

I've often heard of this technique when people are trying to break a habit, and that is to place an elastic band (or bands) around your wrist and each time you indulge yourself in this bad habit you in turn pull back and release the elastic band so that it snaps against your wrist. The idea of this isn't to cause yourself pain for the sake of it but that you come to associate this bad habit to the uncomfortable pinging of the elastic band(s).

4. Replace a negative with a positive

If you notice that you are about to complain or are on the verge of complaining then turn it into a positive and say it aloud. For example: "the weather is horrible" could become "we need the rain" etc.

How to Know if a Guy Likes You

After recently publishing a post called 'How to Know if a Girl Likes You', I thought it to be fitting of me to post an article for girls about how to know if a guy likes you. 
When you are wanting to know if somebody likes you it can sometimes be easy, and sometimes it can be very hard. There are some signs however that will make you more aware of a secret admirer. 

1. He Keeps Looking at You

An obvious way to tell if a guy fancies you or not can be by simply noticing if he often looks/stares at you. When you look at him whilst he's doing this he may hold your gaze for longer than what you would normally experience, or if he's shy he may quickly avert his gaze somewhere else to try and avoid detection.

He may also try to catch your eye so that you look back at him. Also if you do make eye contact and you notice that he glances at your mouth it can be another sign that he is interested.


2. Gets Close to You

Another sign that he may have a crush on you is if he gets in your personal space often, this shows that he is wants to get closer to you. For example: he stands closer than he does with other people, he leans in to you, when he walks past you he walks closely so that he sometimes brushes the side of you.

3. He Often Faces Towards You

If he is interested in you then he will be less inclined to turn his back towards you but will more often than not be facing towards you, or at least have himself in a position where he is able to see you. He may not even realise he's doing it in which case it could be a subconscious thing he is doing.

4. Makes Himself More Presentable 

When he is near you you may see that he adjusts his clothes often or brushes his hair, or does some other adjustment on several occasions may be a sign that he is trying to make himself look more appealing to you. If you notice that he looks cleaner or more presentable than usual when you see him it may be because he is trying to make a better impression on you.

5. Big Themselves Up

Listen to what they're saying as some guys feel the urge to 'prove' their worth by telling you about themselves. It can also be a sign of shyness or nervousness.

6. Physical Contact 

Another sign that he likes you is if he tries to or does make physical contact with you often. He may lean against you, brush himself against you casually (e.g. like when walking past you as mentioned in point #2), rests his hand on you, mock punches you gently or pokes and prods you, gives you hugs, etc. 

7. Tries to Make you Jealous

Some guys flirt with lots of girls but if you notice that he is intentionally flirting with someone whilst keeps glancing at you it's pretty obvious that it's you he really wants and is wanting to see how you react. It is an odd thing to do when thinking about it as it could put you off, however if he's doing it in plain sight of you, or is saying things in a loud fashion so that you can hear, and keeps glancing at you, you have nothing to fear as he's more interested in you than he is her. 

8. Protective and Helpful

You may start to see that he becomes more helpful towards you or may get a little protective over you when other guys are around or when someone makes a comment against you. He may move closer to you, put his arm around you, stand blocking your view to another guy so that he can't see you and you can't see him, some of the things to watch out for.

9. He Has the Same Interests as You

Now this can very easily be a coincidence that he has the same interests as you but it can be also just as easy for him to say he has the same interests as you. If you tell him your interests and he then says he's also interested in that but when asking him further doesn't actually know that much about the topic - it may be a sign that he is just saying it so that he becomes more appealing to talk to. 

He may research the topics of interest and then catch-up with you so he can talk to you about it. 
Also if you introduce him to something you are interested in which he had not heard of or hadn't really bothered with before, like for instance a band or film, then he may suddenly over night become really interested in it and makes sure he tells you about it.

10. Nervousness

If he likes you there is a likely possibility that he gets nervous around you. He may display this by sweating more than usual, going red when you look at him or talk to him, nervous laughter, eyes quickly dart away when you make eye-contact. Normally a guy gets nervous around a girl when he finds her attractive as he doesn't want to make a fool of himself in front of her. 

11. His Friends 

If his friends tease him about you subtly whilst around you then this could be a big indication that he likes you. You may also find that they ask you questions about him to see if you like him or not. 
Be aware that sometimes some friends will be doing it as a wind-up to see if you do like him when he actually doesn't like you, or may be trying to not make it work for you two as they have reasons why they don't want you two to get to know each other. It's a bit of a two-edged sword, on one side it can be one of the best signals that he does, and on the other side they may just be looking for laugh. 

12. Turns-Up where You are

You may see that he coincidentally turns-up in the places where you are. Maybe you mentioned to him that you was going shopping with some friends on Saturday....and on Saturday he also turns out to be shopping. 
It may just be coincidence so don't read too much into it, but if you do notice that he turns up in places you tell him you're going, it may be more than coincidence.

13. Punching and Teasing 

If he punches or prods you in a playful way, or he teases and makes fun of you playfully, it's because he is trying to get your attention. He may want you to flirt with him too.
If it is annoying or painful make sure you tell him though as the more you let it go on the more irritating it will become and you may end up starting to dislike him. You can say that you don't mind him doing it but not so hard or harsh. 

14. Compliments

He may compliment you regularly which could mean he likes you. If you change something about yourself (e.g. your hair) and he notices then this is a good sign as it means that he is observant of you. If he gives you a compliment about it then this could be an even clearer sign he is interested in you. 

Conclusion

Like I said at the end of my last post about 'how to know if a girl likes you' some guys display some of these traits in their normal personality so make sure you don't jump to conclusions and presume that a guy likes you when it could just be who he is. Put things into context first, and remember to be observant. 
Hope this has helped. :)

How to Know if a Girl Likes You

Ahhh the age-old questions of whether a girl likes you is still as relevant today as it ever has been. Don't know what all the pinches and punches are about?, what the teasing is about? What all those looks are about? Well maybe this post will shed some light for some of you guys but keep in mind that each girl is different and some girls are naturally flirty in a friendly way.

1. She plays with her hair or adjusts her clothes when around you or speaking to you

This is a sign that a girl likes you. If you notice that she keeps adjusting her clothes when she's around you or maybe plays, twirls, and fiddles with her hair, this is a sign that she may in fact fancy you. It may be because she wants you to notice her so she may decide to redo her hair in-front of you or may want to look more presentable towards you. 


2. She laughs at your rubbish/boring jokes

If she likes you she will want you to see that she likes being in your company and wants to get along with you so will often laugh at your unfunny and boring jokes. She wants you to like her too and often by laughing at your jokes will make you more comfortable and confident around her. Don't purposefully make bad jokes as this can sometimes backfire and actually dull the conversation. 

3. She smiles at you when you talk to her or say "hello"

This will show that she is happy to see you if she automatically smiles at you. When you talk to her she may also smile then, it's quite a hard emotion to not display when you are genuinely happy to see someone. Some people do naturally smile at people out of politeness too so don't jump to conclusions just yet. 

4. She says things like "awww" or "cute" in reference to you

If she says things such as "awwww" or "how cute" in response to an action you just displayed or made this can mean that she is flirting with you. 

5. Random hugs for just you

It seems acceptable for people to give other people hugs upon greeting or just as a random part of affection. If you notice that she reserves hugs for you and only you then this can be a good indication that she does like you and wants to get closer to you but is trying to do it in a way that is discrete and is trying to avoid suspicion. 

6. Hits, punches, pinches, and teases you

She isn't wanting to hurt you and isn't trying to be nasty to you but is actually after your attention. By making physical contact or by teasing you it's hard for you to ignore her giving her the attention she wants from you. Also it may be that she wants to make contact with you and so does that through playfully hitting you. It can be as well to see what your figure is like, to see how toned-up or toned-down you are, or to see how you respond to her actions. 

Normally playfully hitting people or poking and prodding them are done by more confident females, so don't assume that just because a girl doesn't make contact with you that she doesn't want to - she may just be more shy and reserved. On the flip side, don't go around thinking that every girl wants to make physical contact with you because it will just end up being embarrassing for you.

Having said this I have a friend who hits and punches guys playfully but she isn't interested in them in a crush sort of sense, so be aware on the girl.

7. Her friends tease you about her or giggle a lot when you two are near to each other

This is normally a big giveaway that she likes you if her friends are involved. Girls often confide in each other and so you could have quite easily have made it into a conversation. If they all giggle or smile and are looking at you then this is a good sign. It's an even better sign if they ask you questions about her or tease you about her. 
It's almost definite that she likes you if one of her friends or more than one of her friends tells you that she does in fact like you, unless they are all winding you up but this isn't normally the case. This is often the best way to tell. 

8. The way she looks at you

There are normally two different ways a girl who likes you will look at you. The first is where she will often look at you and/or hold your eye contact for a few seconds, longer than the average. 
The second is where she will look at you and when you look at her she will quickly look-away to try and avoid being seen looking at you. 
You may need to put things in perspective first, she may be looking at you to get your attention about something, or may be just pulling your leg, or maybe it's because shes a naturally inquisitive person and is someone who often observes people.

9. She bites or licks her lips

This is another possible giveaway that a girl might like you, more so if she is looking at you whilst doing it. Maybe her lip subtly quivers or trembles when you look at her or talk to her, this can be a sign that she likes you.

10. She states something waiting for you to come to assistance

This is another sign that she likes you, if she starts playing this. Maybe shes playing pool or snooker and is pretending to not know how to hold the cue properly so you go over and show her how, leaning over her and positioning her hands properly. Maybe she's carrying something or trying to lift something and exclaims "it's too heavy" meaning she wants you to lift it. Or maybe you and her are outside and she keeps saying how cold it is, wanting you to lend her your jacket/coat. 
If there is more than one guy around then she may not want someone else to give her the assistance she wants, because she wants it specifically from the guy that she likes.

11. She helps you

Watch out for the things she does for you maybe by offering help and assistance when needed. If she's always ready to help and often offers help then (unless she is like it with everyone) this is good news. Don't purposefully overdo asking her for assistance as you may become a bit of an annoyance and she may start to not want to help you.

12. She listens to you 

This is a good sign that she likes you if you notice that she always listens to you and values your opinions. It's a much better sign if she wants to know your opinion and views when in a group of other guys as she's singling you out and wants to know what you think.

Conclusion

You should stay aware that some girls will display many of these traits as part of their normal personality and it doesn't mean that they will like you, so remember to be observant to her personality and to what is more out-of-character. Also, don't get caught-up over everything she does and never try to over-Analise them, this can often make your situation go downhill if you're not careful. 
I hope that this has been of help to you and I wish you luck for the future. :)

How to Improve your Mood: 12 Tips

Having to go through low moods and/or depression is a tough and hard thing to escape. With practical changes to ones life though these feelings can be suppressed and you can improve your mood. 

Depending upon how bad a persons depression/low mood is, will have an impact to how well these tips will work. If they are mild enough then these tips may be all that is needed to help them, however if it is more serious then whilst these tips will be helpful for the individual - professional medical advice will be needed.

1. Talk to other People

Having problems and life-dramas can certainly bring your mood down and make it hard for you to deal with them, and when you've got no-one to talk to about it, it can be all the more difficult.

Just having someone to talk to (even if they can't actually change the situation) can really make a big difference because they can offer their moral support and advice.

We all need help sometimes and having people who you trust to depend upon is a comforting prospect. There are those who will offer you emotional help and those who will be able to offer you practical help, both of which you should be (and would be I'm sure) grateful of in a bad situation.

Friends and family members are an obvious choice to start with and can simply be by letting them know of your situation and what you're experiencing. Friends and family members aren't the only choice you have, their are people who you know and are friendly with, yet don't class as a close friend (e.g. A person at work) who you can ask for advice. You can also arrange to go and see support groups in your area or can even phone up support lines. Help from other people can make all the difference.

2. Exercise

Exercise is a great way to lift your mood and is often advised to place into your daily routine as a form of dealing with low moods and/or depression, in fact, it's advised for you to include it in your life anyway in general.

It keeps you active both physically and mentally, keeps you fit, gets you out (unless if you do home exercises), and just makes you feel better in general. It's such a simple thing to start yet so many people push it aside as they doubt that something as simple as exercise can help...but it can.

A couple of reasons to why people don't take up an exercise routine are 1. They see the whole exercising and creating a routine too much of a hassle to organise and to follow-through with, and 2. They believe that it's going to consume too much of their time and they don't have that time to spare.

Well as a matter of fact these people need not worry as it isn't hard to get yourself into a routine and you can work around your time allowance, even if it's only 10-20 minutes a day.

It doesn't have to be something that you hate to do, find something that you enjoy doing, for example: walking, football, swimming, going to the gym, etc.

If you would like to start exercising but aren't sure where to start or to how you go about doing it then here's an article that you may find useful: How to Create an Exercise Plan.

3.Wake-up Early

Waking up early is a fantastic way to kick-start your day. Getting up earlier will allow you to have more time in your day to do things (maybe start that exercise plan), you will feel as if you have more energy throughout the day - which will lead to a more positive outlook.

I won't go into any more detail to why getting up early is good for you but if you would like to read more into it then this is the full article: 10 Benefits of Being an Early Riser.

4. Do Something Fun

Try doing something fun to lighten your mood. It may seem a little childish to some of you who are reading this but is something that will prove its worth soon enough. Whatever you feel like doing (within the law of course:) ): maybe go for some exercise, play some sports, play some games with people? Whatever.

You want to be able to have some enjoyment in your life and by doing something fun can really help you feel better.

I don't include t.v, browsing the Internet, or video games, as doing something fun. Whilst I'm not saying that these can't be fun and/or entertaining, they're really just wasting your time. Coming away from t.v. and the like, I don't know how all of you feel, but I never feel like I have benefited or gained anything when I come away from watching t.v?

The full article about this is here: Is T.V Wasting your Time?

Often it's not even about doing something fun, it's normally about doing something and we will appreciate doing anything to keep our minds off of what is bothering us - it's just nice for it to be fun. 

5. Get a Hobby

Similar to point #5 however this is more of a regular and consistent way to cheer yourself up rather than just doing anything that is fun. Having an activity to partake in which is your hobby is an excellent way to take your mind away from the stress you're going through. If you share your hobby with a friend and you both do it together (for example: golf, tennis, pool/snooker, bird-watching, etc,) you can use point #1 and talk to them about your situation.

6. Get enough Daylight

There are depressive moods that scientists know about that are linked to not having enough exposure to daylight.

I watched a documentary about a year or so ago about the effects of varying light exposure to a person but can't remember what it was called. On this program there was an experiment where they made a person stay inside of their house for a week with his windows boarded up and only a limited amount of the usual light making it through, and throughout the week they monitored his mood. As the week progressed his mood declined and by the end of the week he hated the lack of natural light. When he was allowed to have his house un-boarded and the sunlight was able to shine in again - his mood dramatically improved.

Get outdoors more too and expose yourself to the natural light (don't get burnt when it's sunny though :) ). Morning light is said to be the most beneficial and is something I recommend everyone should get-up to experience.

7. Eat Healthy

Eating the right food with the essential vitamins and minerals your body needs to be sustained is what it needs to have a consistent amount of energy lasting throughout the day. making sure that you eat your 5 fruit and/or veg a day is definitely beneficial for your overall health and well being.

If you are interested here are some posts about fruit and veg: The Benefits of individual Fruits (Part 1), The Benefits of Individual Vegetables (Part 1), and Top 10 Most Popular Fruits.

When people are feeling down they can often turn to alcohol, when they are feeling low on energy they turn to things that are high in caffeine (for example: energy drinks or coffee), it's not too hard to see a slight connection to a persons feelings and food.

8. Get Enough Sleep

There is still a lot that is unknown about sleep that science has yet to uncover but it has been advised that people with depression or low moods should make sure that they are getting enough sleep. People who feel refreshed and aren't tired allow their mind to function better than that of a sleep deprived person because our bodies need sleep to recharge, and will prevent, or at least limit, tiredness bringing down their mood.

Not only is it advised that you should get enough sleep but also that you should stick to a regular sleeping routine.

Here are two articles that go more into sleep: The Functions of Sleep and How much Sleep do we Need?

9. Deal with Stressful Problems 

There are so many stressful problems that enter our lives that we have to deal with. Sometimes they appear like a bull in a china shop and other times they very discretely enter into your life without you realising it and cause you hassle. 

Stress is a killer and can definitely without a shadow of a doubt bring down a  person's mood. 

Go through what stresses are in your life (if you have them which most people do) and then decide what you are going to do about it. A lot of stressful things are things that can be sorted or will get sorted, for example: starting a new job, moving house,meeting new people, having more work than usual to get through, etc.

Sometimes there wont be a quick fix to your problem(s) and so will have to be something that you have to make the best of a bad situation about, for example: losing a job, dealing with an illness, having social problems, etc.

I've written an article about stress before if you would like to read more about it: The Common Causes of Stress and how to Deal With it. 

10. Smile More

Such a small and simple action to do yet can still have an effect on your mood. Forcing yourself to smile and telling yourself that you are happy can have a positive effect on how you view situations in life. If you're always optimistic and are trying to look on the bright side of life, then you won't have as much time for dwelling on the negatives. 

11. Stick to a Plan

A suggestion that is often made by professionals and is normally encouraged for those dealing with depression, is to make sure that your life has structure to it. If your mind isn't kept busy then it can start to dwell on matters and make it seem worse than it is, which is why suggested that you stick to a schedule.

Make sure you are strict about keeping to your schedule as it is very easy to skip one or two things on it, and once that happens you can be sure that you are likely going to stop doing more jobs that you are supposed to do, and then next give up on it all together. 

Productivity is a great way to make use of your time and has an uplifting response once you've completed what needs to be done and it's this positive effect that is good for your mind. You can see that you are getting things done and you like the results you are seeing and in return for your labour you are able to experience the satisfying feeling of productivity.  

Two posts that you may find helpful are: 7 Benefits of a Schedule and How to Plan a Schedule.

12. Don't Over-schedule

Another thing that can quite easily bring your mood down is having too much on your plate. When you have too much to get through and it becomes an endless fight trying to finish it all, can make life feel like you're living for the schedule - which it shouldn't be about. 

There's nothing wrong with having a lot of things to get through daily because for some people they thrive in that environment, but for others (and in fact for those workaholics too) when there is too much to do it can become too much for us to cope with and handle.

Feeling Overwhelmed?

Are you feeling overwhelmed? Feeling like there's too many things to do in the limited amount of time that you have to do them? Or maybe you have a huge task ahead of you (possibly multiple huge tasks) and are just finding that it (or they) is/are just getting on top of you both mentally and physically?
Well whilst it may sound a bit flippant to say don't worry, this feeling of being overwhelmed can cease to exist if you are able to cope with it.

There is a large quantity of people who feel overwhelmed on a regular basis and others that get it from time-to-time, but at one point or another everybody comes to know the feeling of being overwhelmed. Feeling overwhelmed in a seemingly overwhelming situation is not a pleasant experience and can lead not only to hindrance and avoidance but also procrastination and sometimes slight depression. If you are someone who gets worked up in these somewhat stressful situations or/and are unable to remain calm then my previous post 'How to Remain Calm in a Stressful Situation' may be of use to you. :)

Different people will be able to handle life experiences differently from others. There are those who can pile task after task onto their plate and still be firing on all cylinders. Then there are those who feel overwhelmed at some of the most simple of things. These are two different extremes on the scale to how people cope. Depending what type of person you are will determine where-bouts you fit on the scale. Remember though that people do handle situations differently to others, so if you are finding a situation easy whilst another is finding it overwhelming, don't belittle them about it because in another scenario that could be you.

Here are some questions to ask yourself when you feel overwhelmed or are getting into that state of mind.

1. Why am I Overwhelmed?

On the surface this seems like a seemingly simple question and 95% of the time you are going to be able to answer it. Sometimes though there are those times (5%) when you honestly have no idea to why you are feeling things are too much. Ask yourself this and really think about the root cause to this horrible feeling. Once you know the answer you can move on to the next questions.

2. Is it Really that Important?

Once you've figured out what's making you feel overwhelmed, now ask yourself whether it's really that important to be feeling this way. If its not then don't worry about it (easier said than done I know), if it is I'm not saying that you should feel stressed but that you should have an awareness to what actually is important enough to maybe warrant stress or anxiety. It's dealing with stress and anxiety that is the trickier problem.

3. Are you really Overwhelmed?

This may sound like an odd question because if you are feeling overwhelmed why should you ask yourself if you are actually overwhelmed? Well, often we can feel like we have too much on our plate and that we're too busy but actually when you look closer you can see that you aren't really that busy and haven't got as much as first seemed. This is as we can still feel busy even when we haven't got that much to do. So taking this closer look will reveal what does need to be done and how much time it will take. Often once you just get on and start you will find that there isn't that much to do and that you can manage perfectly fine.

4. Am I Alone

It's very easy to feel alone when feeling overwhelmed as you are the only one going through that emotion. However this isn't to say that you are alone. There are often people who you can turn to in these situations not only for advice about how to go about dealing with the situation but also for some practical assistance. It's having people like these to turn to that can turn the situation into something much more manageable. 

Conclusion

When you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed or when you are overwhelmed, try asking yourself these questions to help you look at the situation in a clearer fashion. Feel free to ask yourself other questions that you feel would help you cope with the feeling of being overwhelmed. Just remember that when you are overwhelmed that other people have gone through the same emotions and that you can help yourself get through these experiences.

9 Effects of Sleep Deprivation

Most of you who are reading this post will know what sleep deprivation feels like. To wake-up and still feel tired and then for that feeling to remain with you for most of the day, if not all of it. It's not just this feeling of tiredness that is of consequence of sleep deprivation but also many other things. Here's some of the effects that a lack of sleep can bring.

1. Behaviour

Sleep has a direct effect on behaviour. Often when you have a young child and they're crying or playing-up they're normally just tired and so their behaviour becomes worse. It's not only young children who can suffer from bad behaviour as sleep deprivation can effect people of all ages.

When your body stays awake for extended periods of time, regeneration and maintenance of certain parts of the body, such as the brain, begins to falter. It is this incomplete-regeneration/re-charge of the brain through sleeping that has the impact on behaviour and will worsen a persons behaviour.

2. Concentration

Concentration is another thing that is substituted for tiredness.When you can feel your tiredness hanging over you throughout the day you know that you wont be able to concentrate properly because all you want to do is go to sleep. Your body is having to use more energy than usual (when you're not sleep deprived) to keep you going and so other functions like concentration for instance, will see a decline. 

Here's another post of mine: 6 Benefits of Concentration.

3. Head Aches

If you don't like headaches then don't skip sleep as it has been shown that having a lack of sleep can actually bring them on. If you're someone that suffers from chronic headaches/migraines then make sure that you get enough sleep.

4. Weakened Immune System 

Hate colds, coughs, the flu, and other infections and illnesses? I thought so. Well not getting the sleep that your body needs will actually have a negative effect on the immune system, and immune functions that help to fight against illness and infection will start to diminish making you a lot more susceptible to them.  

5. Increased Blood Pressure

Another negativity of sleep deprivation is an increased blood pressure which in itself can bring on many unwanted illnesses and problems.

If you want to read more on high blood pressure then here's the link: Reduce High Blood Pressure.

6. Depression

Another thing about sleep deprivation is that it can lead to depression. This is as regular tiredness will bring your mood down and behaviour (as discussed in point #1), and then when you've reached this level, not getting enough sleep can lower your state even further until it reaches the lower levels of depression, and this is another thing that can bring about some more individual problems. You'd be surprised how much better you can feel when you're getting enough sleep.

7. Memory Loss

This may sound like a bit on the extreme side but tiredness really can have an effect upon memory. Sleep is very necessary for the cognitive functions of the brain and making sure that they are healthy, and it is something that helps us with remembering and recalling information. However, when we don't get enough sleep then the cognitive functions of the brain don't function as-well and will cause our ability to remember and learn new things a lot harder than it should be. 

8. Weight Gain

Many sleep deprived nights may also be contributing to your waistline. Your bodies natural calorie burner comes in the form of your metabolism and it is this that burns the vast majority of your calories. Your body needs sleep so that it can process hormones that aid in the maintenance of your metabolic rate and your appetite. When you don't get enough sleep your body will find it more and more difficult to use these hormones to mange metabolism and appetite which will only add to the waist. 

If you're are struggling with weight and are wanting to lose some pounds, then here's a previous post of mine: How to Lose Weight.

9. Type-2 Diabetes

As discussed in point #7, when your body doesn't get the sleep that it needs it will find it harder to process the hormones needed to regulate bodily functions such as metabolic rate. Well another bodily function that will see a cutback in regulation is sugar processing. And it's this, your body not being able to properly process sugar, that can lead to type-2 diabetes.

Conclusion

It's also interesting to note that if we live by a sleep-deprived life, even though we may feel okay because our bodies have gotten used to sleep deprivation, our bodies will require more and more sleep. So in a sense we're getting into debt with our bodies every time we don't get enough sleep. I do hope that this post has highlighted some key points to keep in mind when it comes to sleep.

How to Get a Good Nights Sleep

It's horrible when you can't get a good nights sleep and however much you try, it just seems to become harder and harder to slip into that state of unconsciousness. Then when the next day comes around and it's time to get up you can definitely feel the lack of sleep. The good thing to note is that you're not alone when it comes to sleep deprivation, and the good thing is that normally it has something to do with your daily routine. 

You'll be surprised how much daily and evening habits can have an affect on sleep, and can either help you with sleeping or hinder you from sleeping. 

After saying this I'm hoping these tips provided will help you to get a better nights sleep.

1. Consistency

The body naturally likes consistency as its internal body clock relies on it. Making sure that you get in tune with your bodies natural sleep and wake-up times is one of the first essential things for you to do. If you go to bed and wake-up at varying times over the week then that means that your body is out of sync with its internal body clock, but there is a way to reset it.

To get your internal body clock back into sync with your body all you need to do is keep to a sleeping schedule - go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time, simple. Set an alarm clock as-well to make sure that you get up at the right time, I've written a previous post about the amount of sleep people should get: How Much Sleep do we Need?

It may take your body a couple of weeks or more to adjust to the new sleeping schedule and once it has will make going to sleep easier.

2. Relax

I've already written a post about this so I wont go into too much detail here. Basically, relaxing before bed will cause your body to become more susceptible to sleep and is great for unwinding from what has felt like a long day. One example of what you could do to relax before bed would be to read.

If you are interested in reading about this in more detail I'll refer you to the main article: How to Relax Before Bed.  

3. Amount of Light-Exposure

Our bodies need light-exposure to properly function, when it gets dark a hormone called melatonin that is regulated by your body will start to kick-in and make you tired. This is as the production of this hormone is based upon light-exposure. The more light-exposure your body has - the less melatonin is produced, and vice-versa the darker it gets the more melatonin is produced.

Now you may be saying, "okay, well that's fine as its light when it's day and dark when it's night, so why are you telling me this". That's a good question. Well there are things that can mess with the production of melatonin during the day and night, and can make it difficult for you to get to sleep.

Things like having a day job where you aren't exposed to as much daylight (an office for example) or wearing sunglasses all the time can cause a increase in the amount of melatonin that is produced making you feel sleepy during the day. Similarly watching t.v, being at a computer or around some other source of artificial light at night can cause a deduction in melatonin levels making you more awake and making it harder for you to relax and fall to sleep.

4. Watch what You Eat and Drink

Food is another thing that will affect the body during sleep and depending when and what you eat can also depend how good a nights sleep you could get. 

Fatty foods and other 'heavy' foods will take a lot of energy for your stomach to digest and so should try to be avoided within a couple of hours leading up to bed. Also try to eat your meals earlier in the evening as this will give your stomach more time to digest the food. I know for some people this isn't possible but if it is then give it a try. 

Avoid alcohol  before bed and avoid caffeine altogether (for example in coffee) if possible. Alcohol can send a person to sleep quicker, which you may be thinking that's a good thing, however it reduces the quality of sleep and your body will find it harder to go through all of the stages of sleep.  

Caffeine whilst okay in smaller doses can actually provide a restless nights sleep even after as much as 10 hours after consumption.  

Another thing, drinking too much water before you go to bed can also mean a midnight walk to the bathroom, so if you're going to drink lots of water I would suggest 1-2 hours before you go to bed. 

5. Exercise More

Daily exercise is another thing that you can do during the day to help yourself get a better nights sleep. Something like only 30 minutes a day can make a big difference. As I've said in other posts, daily exercise doesn't have to be in one go and can be split into smaller chunks (10 minutes for a section lets say) spread across the course of the day. 

If you're wanting to get into exercise more, then here's a previous post of mine: How to Create an Exercise Plan.

6. Avoid Smoking

As-well as being bad for your health in numerous ways, it can also be detrimental to sleep quality and can have you awake for much of the night in some cases. This is as nicotine is a stimulant which will disrupt sleep. As-well as this, depending on how much you smoke a day, you may find yourself getting up during the night to smoke as the withdrawal is too strong. 

Here's another previous post of mine: How to Stop Smoking.

7. Avoid Stress

Another thing that's detrimental to sleeping and health in general is stress and anxiety. Being stressed and anxious can make it very difficult for you to sleep, I know from where I've been stressed in the past and as a result have experienced sleepless nights and then long drawn-out mornings. Try to reduce stress levels as best you can. When first starting this blog I wrote an article about stress which I will direct you to if you want to read about it in more detail: The common causes of stress and how to deal with it. 

Conclusion

Whether you only need to change one aspect of your life or many aspects, I hope that doing so will help you to get a better nights sleep. Remember, if you're trying to get back into a regular sleep pattern then you may not see results for a couple of weeks or so as your body is adjusting to the change you've made.Good luck.