How to be Less Sensitive

Firstly before I get into this post, I want to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with being sensitive. In fact sensitivity often enables us to sympathize and empathize with others better than less sensitive people. So why bother becoming less sensitive?

This post isn't aimed at getting rid of a persons sensitivity, no - that would not be a good thing to strive for, but at those who are over-sensitive. Overly-sensitive people can often have problems in their day-to-day lives that other people don't, such as: overreacting to comments & situations, taking offense over trivial things, becoming upset over trivial things, feeling vulnerable and threatened, etc. These can make that persons day-to-day living harder than you might expect.
For those of you who are more sensitive than the average person and would like to put a restraint on how sensitive you are, good news, you can reduce your sensitivity.


1. Don't take Everything to Heart

Don't take offense at, or to heart, everything that somebody else says, if you do - you are going to be offended a lot. Not everyone is out to make you feel upset of distressed so don't take the things people say to heart when they have no intention of trying to cause you emotional harm. 

If you are offended over what someone says that is purposefully directed at you, have you ever thought that it could be because it's true? Sometimes the truth hurts, and when someone says something that we are unhappy with maybe it is because there is truth behind it? Say to yourself  "Is this a true statement?" and if it is, then maybe it is a justified statement? Of course not all true statements are fair to bring up and are completely unnecessary, but sometimes they are.

Another thing that can be taken the wrong way and is generally dramatized inside the mind is criticism. No-one likes criticism as it points out flaws with what you are doing and so is something you could improve upon. Now the person telling you this could be meaning it in a constructive sense or they could be doing it out of spite - lets have a look at both.
If the person is giving criticism constructively it is more than likely because:

• a) they want to help you improve where you need to improve

• b) it is vital that you improve for whatever reason (e.g. in the workplace)

• c) They feel you would benefit from the criticism by knowing where improvements could be made, and in the long-run (and short-run) be better for you.

If the criticism is given constructively then it isn't because they are wanting to bring you down or say it provoke an emotional response, they're doing it because they want to help. So don't fly off the handle or let your emotions get the better of you, just think to yourself that it can't have been nice giving the criticism and that it's good of them to want to help.

If they are doing it spitefully just for the sake of putting you down, again, don't let your emotions get the better of you. It can be very easy to allow your reaction to be based off of emotion (as so many are) rather than thought. Don't let it bother you and carry on, you can say something as simple as "okay, thanks" and just carry on doing what you are doing.

2. What Triggers your Sensitivity?

It is common for a person to be more sensitive in one area than others.  Are we reacting to what is happening now? or are we reacting upon instinct? Often when someone reacts to somebody else at the time, the person is either sad, angry, under stress, etc. These emotions can often lower someones tolerance-levels. It can be something as simple as another person asking them to do something. 

It's common for a trigger to be the result of a earlier life-event. For example: They have trouble with people in authority because they were under the authority of an over-controlling parent perhaps? This is just one example of a previous experience that could trigger a persons sensitivity to react more strongly towards a situation.
When you do feel your sensitivity wavering, stop, and think about a past experience that could be the trigger of your current emotions in the situation, and if it does stem back to a earlier event, then you have something that you need to address.

However, not all triggers are from past events and may be something that has grown and materialized over time. Look into what you find hard to deal with, and don't just have a quick think before declaring to yourself that you are fine, really look deep within yourself and have a search for what bothers you and gets your emotions going. It can be easy to avoid doing this because you avoid the sensitive issues that you don't really want to have to think about and actually want to bury and forget. As long as those feeling remain there however, the sensitivity to those issues will also remain.

3. Don't Lie to Yourself

Over sensitivity is a topic commonly avoided and can be normal for it to be a sensitive subject for others, bringing out denial. A very hard task can sometimes be realising that you too may be a sensitive person, and your characteristics and certain behaviours could actually be a way of coping with sensitive subjects. Not many people can honestly and openly admit to a problem when they have one, or spend the time contemplating on why and how it came about. These people who do though are the people who are able to make change and take hold of their problem and change. 

A big step in finding out if you are overly-sensitive around certain issues is simply by taking the step to search within yourself for answers. Sometimes this process can take hours of self-conflict to gain any results, but this is good, self-conflict indicates that you are putting effort and thought into gaining insight to how you actually feel.

4. Govern your Emotions

Much easier said than done. When you feel your emotions starting to take hold of you, or you can foresee a situation arising whereby your emotions are going to take hold, stay calm and think about what is going on. Is it really something to get worked up over? Take a deep breath and move past it, calm yourself down. Reacting in a calmer state generally produces a better outcome than when acting on pure impulse as an emotional response. You are less likely to have regrets later on too. 

5. Talk About it

Letting these sensitive issues ferment inside you isn't healthy for your well-being, they won't go away on their own and will fester inside of you. Talking to someone you trust is a great way to alleviate the burden that you hold. Opening up will not only get you thinking about these 'sore areas' but can often be a surprise to how much the subject bothers you and/or upsets you. The person will be able to comfort you and will often give advice about what they think you should do. You don't need to tell the world about it, but only 1 or 2 people who you trust. For example: a family member, a close friend, etc.

Conclusion

Keep in mind that most people aren't out to offend or hurt you, sometimes it's a persons characteristic. Find the trigger(s), keep calm, look deep within, and talk about it. Also remember that being sensitive is not a bad thing and can often aid a person in conveying sympathy to others, and can have a better view to how others are feeling at a given moment.