Talking to shy people need you to take a few things into consideration and certain things that you should and shouldn't do. A shy person's confidence can easily be knocked and so care on your behalf will be needed when you are wanting to communicate with them more.
If you want to, it might be a good idea for you to read my previous post: 11 Common Worries Shy People Have so you can have more of an insight to how a shy persons mind works.
Here are some steps that can help you when talking and interacting with a shy person.
1. Be Smiley and Friendly
A smiley and friendly person is a lot more inviting for a person to talk to than a grumpy and miserable one. Shy people aren't normally the most forthcoming people in the world and so for them to know that you are a smiley and friendly person to talk to will make it a lot easier for them, and more likely, for them to come and talk to you.
2. Don't Bombard with Questions
Don't hit them with question after question. Whilst questions are good to ask as they convey your interest in the other person and the conversation, too many questions and it will quickly appear to them that it is more like an interrogation than a conversation, which could make them become nervous - even if that were not your intention.
Shy people are good listeners, reason being is that they enjoy to listen to you rather than speak because they are normally afraid to, so watch how many questions you fire their way.
3. Don't act Nervous
Try not to be nervous around them as this can create awkward silences and conversations between the both of you. If you are nervous around them, it's not likely that they're going to take the reigns and steer the conversation to where you would like it to be, so try to stay relaxed and confident around them. This isn't an excuse to be arrogant or overly confident around them either as most shy people won't find that an attractive personality trait.
4. Don't get too Personal
It's good to ask questions and it is something that is fine to do but try not to get personal. Many shy people aren't confident (hence their shyness) and aren't comfortable with discussing things that are personal, so try and keep the conversation related to the general topic but don't go into too personal an approach.
They may also feel that their personal life isn't up to the standard to where you would respect or accept it and may feel embarrassed of it.
5. Be Patient
It may take a lot longer than a single conversation for them to become comfortable with opening up to you. Prompting and encouraging them to continue, whilst you may see it as being kind and friendly, will most likely make them more nervous and try to withdraw from the conversation, feeling as if they are being put on the spot.
They may need time to respond to your comments and questions, and may need that time because they respond in a certain way.
6. Don't be Patronising
Just because they are shy and can't articulate theirself as well as maybe you can, it doesn't mean you should become patronising towards them for them to understand. They will not appreciate this.
7. Don't talk to them as if they are Stupid
Very similar to point #6, don't talk to shy people as if they are stupid just because they don't say a lot. Shyness does not amount to unintelligence...in fact some of the brightest and sharpest individuals on the planet are shy people.
8. Don't Tease them
Shy people don't like to be reminded of their shyness, especially when it comes in the form of people teasing them and joking about it. It may seem like a harmless bit of banter to you but to many shy people this is quite a degrading experience and is something they will very much dislike. It will often make them more shy and make it so they do not want to talk to you anymore.
9. Listen to them
Listen to what they have to say and don't interrupt them or talk over them. Give responses and feedback that is genuine and engage yourself so they know that you are interested in what they have to say. Don't discredit or shoot-down their ideas as this will knock their confidence. It will have taken courage on their behalf to open up to you and talk about their ideas, if you just put-down their comments and/or not really pay attention to them it will have a negative effect upon their self-esteem - which may be very little as it is.
10. Don't Point out their Shyness
This is different to teasing them about their shyness but is something that can still have the same effect. Simply pointing out that they are a shy individual can make them question their behaviour around you to why you would perceive them this way, and is another thing that could push them to become even more shy.
11. Talk to them about something you have in Common
If you manage to find that you have something in common with this person, for instance like a hobby or interest, then try to get them to talk about this. Shy people will feel more comfortable talking to you about an interest they have if they and even more so if they know that you also share the same interest. Sometimes shy people, once got going, can really give a good conversation and can chatter on for ages.
12. Talk to them about Something more Stimulating
Don't just drone on about small-talk such as the weather. Things such as this will only become tiresome quickly and doesn't really cause the both of you to engage fully. Try talking to them about something more stimulating that properly gets the both of you engaged in conversation and thought.
13. React Positively to your Interaction
When you are leaving one-anothers company, smile and let them know that it was nice talking with them. If you feel like it you can tell them that they are welcome to talk to you any time and can come over when they see you. You may even feel up to asking them to do something. Also be aware that if you are with friends and they see you they may not come over to you as they would rather a one-to-one conversation and may feel intimidated by your friends. If you do see them with your friends they may not want you to call them over, so a simple wave of acknowledgement would suffice.
Kamis, 31 Januari 2013
Selasa, 29 Januari 2013
RHD To Host Livestock Advertising & Photography Workshop
RHD TO HOST LIVESTOCK ADVERTISING AND PHOTOGRAPHY WORKSHOP
Ranch House Designs, Inc. will host a two-day livestock marketing workshop on April 19-20 in Wharton, Texas. The workshop features a complete guide to livestock advertising including the importance of livestock marketing, determining an advertising budget, different tools available for the livestock producer, advertising design, email marketing, web design, social media, and much more. The group will also host an optional hands-on livestock photography workshop on April 20, where participants will photograph actual livestock at V8 Ranch followed by a hands-on classroom session about image management, ethical photography retouching, processing videos for use on YouTube and the requirements for pictures and videos in use on websites.
This comprehensive workshop will feature speakers Rachel Cutrer and Stacey Shanks, of RHD, along with keynote speaker Carlos Guerra of LaMuneca Cattle Company and guest video instructors Wade Fischer and Joelynn Rathmann of Ideal Video Productions.
Registration is now open at www.ranchhousedesigns.com. Adult workshop registration is $150 and student registration is $100. There is an additional fee of $100 to participate in the optional on-farm livestock photography workshop at V8 Ranch.
Senin, 28 Januari 2013
Mengapa Komentar Spam Berbahaya dan Apa Solusinya?
Beberapa hari ini saya telah dan masih berjuang habis-habisan untuk menyeleksi komentar di setiap posting blog. Sampai hari ini, sekitar 2000an komentar spam telah saya hapus dan masih terus bertambah nantinya. Total ada 7ribuan komentar spam yang telah terhapus sejauh ini di buka-rahasia.blogspot.com. Bukan karena faktor kualitas komentar yang menjadi sebab utama, melainkan karena saya sudah
Kamis, 24 Januari 2013
Untuk Apa dan Siapa Anda Menulis Artikel Blog?
Background
Hobi seorang blogger, sekaligus pengguna internet, adalah surfing, browsing, membaca artikel-artikel blog, mengambil manfaat, mengetahui hal baru, dan menyerap ilmu yang ada di dalam artikel-artikel tersebut. Sebagai blogger, saya memahami betul bahwa menulis bukanlah pekerjaan sambil lalu, sehingga menilai sebuah artikel/konten blog secara strictly sepertinya bukanlah hal yang bisa
11 Common Worries Shy People Have
Very often shy people will be too hard on themselves, and can definitely be their hardest critique. Some of the worries they have too aren't all that uncommon either, with many shy people commonly sharing the same worries. Sometimes they won't even be aware they're harbouring some of these worries but yet they still know that there is an underlying problem at heart.
All of these worries don't apply to every shy person and isn't something that is set in stone - it's just a list of common worries many shy people have, and worries that not so shy people can also have too.
If you yourself are a shy person and are wanting to overcome your shyness or at the very least become a bit more confident, then here is a recent post of mine: How to get over Shyness.
1. Rejection
A very common worry that a lot of shy people have is rejection. They often feel like they aren't good enough to spend time with or that their company isn't worth having, and so believe that they will face rejection.
Shy people rarely show their true character to others (except those they are most comfortable with and depending upon how shy they are,) and won't really communicate as well because of their shyness, and so if they were to receive rejection it is usually the fault of their shyness - however not the person.
2. Considering yourself to be unlikable
This worry is related and linked to worry #1 rejection. A shy person may not be very sociable and so can have a view upon theirself as being unlikable and so will often put theirself down, which can be done mentally and orally.
It can be a number of things that causes a shy person to consider theirself as being unlikable and can sometimes be to do with their appearance.
This naturally leads to worrying over rejection because they believe that the other person/people would not be happy in their company and so would automatically come to expect rejection - which when left to fester in your mind can make the fear even worse. This fear of rejection can then distort their view of theirself and confirm in their mind that they're not worth the time, which is not the case.
Everyone has their own flaws that they won't be particularly happy with but have come to accept them and having flaws does not make a person unlikable. Neither does awkwardness as lots of people experience awkwardness with others but are still very likable people.
3. That they won't be Considered Fun
Another common worry that shy people often have is that they think that other people will consider them to be no fun. There shyness doesn't help them as they can't really be totally comfortable around others which normally leads to two predicaments.
1). Their shyness strips them of their personality and leaves them in a form where they don't know what to say or how to act, and so can lead to social awkwardness.
2). The person tries overly hard to be fun and really fights their shyness to try and achieve this so that they can prove to others that they are actually fun. This approach normally has a black or white outcome - it either will work or it won't. More often than not this approach doesn't work as a normally shy person is not so much as used to trying to be extroverted, however having said that, it's surprising how many naturally introverted people portray themselves as extroverted individuals.
4. They feel they won't know what to say
This is a very common problem that many shy people have. It's horrible when you don't know what to say to somebody and even worse when they don't know what to say either, and this will normally produce awkward silences or stale conversations. This can make a particularly shy person come away feeling worse about social situations than before and can cause them to over-think about what they are going to say.
It's not just shy people who can experience this however, we all can at some point or other not because you're shy but because you just don't know what to say to that person. This can feel annoying if you know that if you were both yourselves then you would get along well.
5. Feel as though a single social mistake will make it so that you can never redeem yourself
This can be a tricky one to get-over as really it encompasses a few different worries. Social mistakes happen - we all make them. It's how you are able to deal with them that will determine if this will become an issue for you.
A single small mistake isn't going to turn the world against you and to them they probably didn't even notice it, it's just your mind taking it out of proportion.
6. Feeling as though you have to try and make everyone like you
For some shy people they believe that because they consider theirself to no fun or unlikable, they must do their best to make sure that everyone likes them.
However in life there are going to people who we don't and won't gel with, people who although we may be friendly towards - never actually hit it off with, hold differing opinions, and altogether find making conversation with them a challenging task. It happens, so don't sweat it, just be friendly to people and don't worry if you can't naturally mix well with everyone - there will be people who you can't.
7. Feeling like you're imposing upon other people or forcing them into something
Some shy people, when for example trying to meet-up with others, fear that they are imposing themselves upon the other people because they think they would find the request to meet-up not only as an inconvenience but also as an annoyance. Because of this these shy people will dig themselves into a bit of a pit and do their best to avoid situations where a circumstance like this could occur, for example: asking someone to do something.
It can become so bad for certain people that even when another person asks them if they would like to do something they decline the offer or come-up with an excuse to refuse because they still feel like a hindrance to the other person/people.
8. Dwelling upon past mistakes and worrying that they will occur again
What happened in the past is in the past and does not mean it will happen again in the future. We learn quicker from our mistakes and is sometimes the only way we learn. For some people these mistakes are moments of their life that they never want repeating again, so much so that they frequently worry about it happening again. They recognise a similar situation to that that the previous mistake was made in, and allow their mind to fixate on doing everything possible to avoid a repeat of it, even if they know that it won't happen again. Sometimes they won't even have made a big mistake but just something small to which they have made into a bigger issue than it really is.
9. Often interpreting something as negative
This can be out of anything but is normally related to what another person says, which could be completely innocent yet is perceived as having a negative intent.
For example: Person 1 asks person 2 if they would like to hang-out on a Wednesday because that's when they're free. Person 2 responds with something like "I'm sorry mate but I've already promised someone I'd watch a film with them that night" (or whatever). So person 2 has already got plans for then and so can't meet-up with person 1, yet person 1 still takes this completely innocent comment as something negative and twists it in their mind believing that person 2 just said that as an excuse to not hang-out with them, which they can then feel socially rejected and believe it's because they're not interesting enough.
It may sound silly to you but trust me there are people who do think like this.
10. Not wanting to say something in case you offend someone
Now in many cases this is good if you decide not to say something when you know it may very well offend someone, but for some shy people it can be something as simple as not wanting to disagree with someone because they feel like it would offend them.
I know this to be true as this is how I once used to think. I would hate to disagree with someone over an issue, even if I knew they were wrong or incorrectly informed just because I thought I was going to offend them. For example: One instance springs to mind - It had been snowing heavily and the buses in my area had been cancelled. A family friend had walked over to our house and had spent a few hours with me and my family. Whilst talking the conversation took a turn onto transport, and in this conversation our friend had said something like "well at least the buses are still running". Now I knew for a fact that they weren't as their website which they update frequently displayed that they were not running for that day. Instead of simply saying that they weren't actually running, I instead agreed with her because I felt I would've offended her.
In hindsight it seems silly to me now but at that time of my life that's how I was like and was the way I thought.
11. Thinking you are being judged socially 100% of the time
This is when you are in a conversation or interaction with another individual and you need to make an effort to make sure that the social interaction keeps going and doesn't hit a road-block. You feel like it's a test of your social stamina and to prove to yourself and to the other person that you are not hopeless.
If you make the tiniest error however, you automatically conclude in your mind that you are useless, and even if the interaction goes well you are anticipating the next one and how that 'challenge' will go.
All of these worries don't apply to every shy person and isn't something that is set in stone - it's just a list of common worries many shy people have, and worries that not so shy people can also have too.
If you yourself are a shy person and are wanting to overcome your shyness or at the very least become a bit more confident, then here is a recent post of mine: How to get over Shyness.
1. Rejection
A very common worry that a lot of shy people have is rejection. They often feel like they aren't good enough to spend time with or that their company isn't worth having, and so believe that they will face rejection.
Shy people rarely show their true character to others (except those they are most comfortable with and depending upon how shy they are,) and won't really communicate as well because of their shyness, and so if they were to receive rejection it is usually the fault of their shyness - however not the person.
2. Considering yourself to be unlikable
This worry is related and linked to worry #1 rejection. A shy person may not be very sociable and so can have a view upon theirself as being unlikable and so will often put theirself down, which can be done mentally and orally.
It can be a number of things that causes a shy person to consider theirself as being unlikable and can sometimes be to do with their appearance.
This naturally leads to worrying over rejection because they believe that the other person/people would not be happy in their company and so would automatically come to expect rejection - which when left to fester in your mind can make the fear even worse. This fear of rejection can then distort their view of theirself and confirm in their mind that they're not worth the time, which is not the case.
Everyone has their own flaws that they won't be particularly happy with but have come to accept them and having flaws does not make a person unlikable. Neither does awkwardness as lots of people experience awkwardness with others but are still very likable people.
3. That they won't be Considered Fun
Another common worry that shy people often have is that they think that other people will consider them to be no fun. There shyness doesn't help them as they can't really be totally comfortable around others which normally leads to two predicaments.
1). Their shyness strips them of their personality and leaves them in a form where they don't know what to say or how to act, and so can lead to social awkwardness.
2). The person tries overly hard to be fun and really fights their shyness to try and achieve this so that they can prove to others that they are actually fun. This approach normally has a black or white outcome - it either will work or it won't. More often than not this approach doesn't work as a normally shy person is not so much as used to trying to be extroverted, however having said that, it's surprising how many naturally introverted people portray themselves as extroverted individuals.
4. They feel they won't know what to say
This is a very common problem that many shy people have. It's horrible when you don't know what to say to somebody and even worse when they don't know what to say either, and this will normally produce awkward silences or stale conversations. This can make a particularly shy person come away feeling worse about social situations than before and can cause them to over-think about what they are going to say.
It's not just shy people who can experience this however, we all can at some point or other not because you're shy but because you just don't know what to say to that person. This can feel annoying if you know that if you were both yourselves then you would get along well.
5. Feel as though a single social mistake will make it so that you can never redeem yourself
This can be a tricky one to get-over as really it encompasses a few different worries. Social mistakes happen - we all make them. It's how you are able to deal with them that will determine if this will become an issue for you.
A single small mistake isn't going to turn the world against you and to them they probably didn't even notice it, it's just your mind taking it out of proportion.
6. Feeling as though you have to try and make everyone like you
For some shy people they believe that because they consider theirself to no fun or unlikable, they must do their best to make sure that everyone likes them.
However in life there are going to people who we don't and won't gel with, people who although we may be friendly towards - never actually hit it off with, hold differing opinions, and altogether find making conversation with them a challenging task. It happens, so don't sweat it, just be friendly to people and don't worry if you can't naturally mix well with everyone - there will be people who you can't.
7. Feeling like you're imposing upon other people or forcing them into something
Some shy people, when for example trying to meet-up with others, fear that they are imposing themselves upon the other people because they think they would find the request to meet-up not only as an inconvenience but also as an annoyance. Because of this these shy people will dig themselves into a bit of a pit and do their best to avoid situations where a circumstance like this could occur, for example: asking someone to do something.
It can become so bad for certain people that even when another person asks them if they would like to do something they decline the offer or come-up with an excuse to refuse because they still feel like a hindrance to the other person/people.
8. Dwelling upon past mistakes and worrying that they will occur again
What happened in the past is in the past and does not mean it will happen again in the future. We learn quicker from our mistakes and is sometimes the only way we learn. For some people these mistakes are moments of their life that they never want repeating again, so much so that they frequently worry about it happening again. They recognise a similar situation to that that the previous mistake was made in, and allow their mind to fixate on doing everything possible to avoid a repeat of it, even if they know that it won't happen again. Sometimes they won't even have made a big mistake but just something small to which they have made into a bigger issue than it really is.
9. Often interpreting something as negative
This can be out of anything but is normally related to what another person says, which could be completely innocent yet is perceived as having a negative intent.
For example: Person 1 asks person 2 if they would like to hang-out on a Wednesday because that's when they're free. Person 2 responds with something like "I'm sorry mate but I've already promised someone I'd watch a film with them that night" (or whatever). So person 2 has already got plans for then and so can't meet-up with person 1, yet person 1 still takes this completely innocent comment as something negative and twists it in their mind believing that person 2 just said that as an excuse to not hang-out with them, which they can then feel socially rejected and believe it's because they're not interesting enough.
It may sound silly to you but trust me there are people who do think like this.
10. Not wanting to say something in case you offend someone
Now in many cases this is good if you decide not to say something when you know it may very well offend someone, but for some shy people it can be something as simple as not wanting to disagree with someone because they feel like it would offend them.
I know this to be true as this is how I once used to think. I would hate to disagree with someone over an issue, even if I knew they were wrong or incorrectly informed just because I thought I was going to offend them. For example: One instance springs to mind - It had been snowing heavily and the buses in my area had been cancelled. A family friend had walked over to our house and had spent a few hours with me and my family. Whilst talking the conversation took a turn onto transport, and in this conversation our friend had said something like "well at least the buses are still running". Now I knew for a fact that they weren't as their website which they update frequently displayed that they were not running for that day. Instead of simply saying that they weren't actually running, I instead agreed with her because I felt I would've offended her.
In hindsight it seems silly to me now but at that time of my life that's how I was like and was the way I thought.
11. Thinking you are being judged socially 100% of the time
This is when you are in a conversation or interaction with another individual and you need to make an effort to make sure that the social interaction keeps going and doesn't hit a road-block. You feel like it's a test of your social stamina and to prove to yourself and to the other person that you are not hopeless.
If you make the tiniest error however, you automatically conclude in your mind that you are useless, and even if the interaction goes well you are anticipating the next one and how that 'challenge' will go.
Selasa, 22 Januari 2013
Dasar Analisis Keyword yang Efektif untuk Meningkatkan SEO
Hi, it's time to get back to basic SEO again, dudes! :) Tapi sebelumnya saya mau kasih intro dulu. Yah bisa dibilang curhat lah...Semoga bisa menjadi refleksi kita bersama.
Sebuah usaha tanpa dasar hanya akan memberikan dampak positif singkat. Benar tidak? Apalagi dalam hal SEO. Seseorang bisa saja mengikuti rumus spam kuno. Saya tidak perlu menyebutkan nama rumusnya di sini, semua pasti
Senin, 21 Januari 2013
Mengapa Widget Traffic Feedjit Merugikan Blog dan Pengunjung?
Hi, All. Dalam kesempatan ini saya ingin menyampaikan hasil analisis review salah satu widget traffic yang cukup terkenal dan memiliki fitur display yang bisa dibilang cukup (atau terlalu) komplit. Widget blog ini sangat lazim digunakan, khususnya pengguna Blogger, karena kemudahan setting dan "kekayaan" statistiknya. Saya sangat yakin tidak ada yang tidak tahu apa itu Feedjit Live Traffic Feed
Minggu, 20 Januari 2013
Judul Artikel Anda Membosankan? Ini Solusinya!
Pengantar:
Hai, ini adalah artikel guest post lain dari sobat sesama copywriter, Anas. Akan sangat menarik untuk melihat blogging dari sisi lainnya: Penulisan Artikel. Saya pribadi sangat tertarik dan menjalani profesi copywriting, maka menyuguhkan artikel dari seorang copywriter lain akan memperkaya blog ini dengan referensi baru. Disini saya cukup mengantarkan saja dan tidak akan
Sabtu, 19 Januari 2013
How to get over Shyness
It's a horrible feeling isn't it? When you are out or in a situation where there other people and you feel like you can't be yourself, where you would like to speak up or join in but can't because your shyness is holding you back. Shyness is not uncommon and as human-beings we all experience this, however some individuals are just naturally more shy than others and so can get theirself into a bit of a rut and aren't sure how to get out. Well in this post I am hoping to help and have some tips to how you can get over your shyness.
1. How do you want to Change your Shyness?
If you're reading this post then it's likely that you are wanting to know how to deal with your shyness, or at least certain aspects of it, but to what extent do you want to deal with it? Do you just want to be able to feel comfortable in places where there are large crowds? Do you want to become more comfortable with talking to people? Maybe you want to have a huge lifestyle change and become really outgoing and social? - in which case here are two of my recent posts that you may find useful: How to Become Outgoing and How to Get a Social Life.
Some people like to hold onto you could say some of their shyness as they believe it helps define them as a character, which is fine it's up to whatever they and you choose.
It's important that you know how much you want to change as this will not only determine how much work is needed to be done but it also gives you a clear goal for you to focus your attentions upon.
2. Get Out of the House More Often
A common thing for shy people to do, and is something that I used to do as mentioned in point #3 , is to not leave the house. When I say this I don't mean that they never leave the house, they most likely will for example: shopping, dog walks, family events, etc. However for the most part they won't feel comfortable with leaving the house and will be happy to return where they feel safe.
When shyness causes you to retreat to being isolated inside their home, it can become concerning for your well-being. The reason I say this is that the more time you spend at home and the less time you leave your home - the less inclined you will become to leave. This isn't something that will happen straight away but can quite easily happen over the course of a couple of months or so, or sometimes even weeks depending upon the person.
You'll start to get into your own routine and go about it from day-to-day, which isn't a bad thing, but you will be a prisoner to your own shyness.
Leaving the house is such an easy yet hard thing to do. Easy because all it requires you to do is to open the front door and leave, and yet hard because you don't really want to leave and even if you do you don't know what you would do?
To leave the house - you don't have to have plans or have something that you need to do in order to do it, in fact you can just do something as simple as going for a walk. Try walking in areas where you know will have people in - the more the better, so for example: towns, cities, villages, the beach, etc...
It's making sure that you expose yourself to the outside world so that you remain (or get) comfortable with leaving the house.
3. Get a Job
This is tip is not meant to be disrespectful or demeaning in any way as I know that getting a job is much easier said than done, and also that some individuals are unable to work for particular circumstances. However, with that said, having a job can be a confidence-booster, especially if this job entails interacting with others. Not only can it be good for confidence-boosting but it can also be an opportunity to forge new friendships and relationships.
I can remember when i didn't have a job and what I was like then. I was already a shy and I suppose a somewhat insecure individual who really did nothing. I wouldn't like to leave the comfort of my house and would feel uncomfortable if I was away from home for too long, the only time I would leave the house would be to walk the dog and even that would be more time spent alone. The rest of my family would be out of the house working and doing things whilst I would just stay at home and let my shyness and insecurities become a little out of control.
It was weird because I knew that I needed to change as I could see that I was ruining my life by letting this shyness take over what I could and mostly couldn't do, and after about 2 years of this and my self-esteem and confidence reaching new lows - I decided to do something about it. I went job-searching!
I spent a good part of a day scouring for jobs and picking up application forms left, right and centre. Then once I was home I got to work on them. Of all the application forms I filled in, only one managed to get me a job interview. So feeling very nervous I went. I can honestly say that it was one of the worst experiences of my life at the time as I felt extremely out of my comfort zone. After the interview had finished I was hoping that I wouldn't get the job but a couple of weeks later I was phoned to say that I had got it.
At the start I felt very shy - I didn't speak to people and felt uncomfortable being around the other members of staff. I would never go up to the staff room for lunch like the majority of the staff do because I was too timid to. After some time though I noticed that I was talking to a few people briefly and was finding it more tolerable to be where everyone else was.
Now I am so much more confident. I talk to every member of staff, have made new friends, get invited to events, laugh and joke with them all, and feel much more comfortable and confident around people. I also make an effort to talk to the new staff who start, which to my surprise everyone else doesn't as they don't know what to say, but because I feel so much more confident I have become friends with all the new members of staff and have even done things outside of work with them.
Getting a job really did make a difference to my life and is a change that I am very happy with.
If you are in the process of job searching and have managed to get yourself an interview then you may find these posts helpful: 10 Vital Questions to Ask in a Job Interview and 15 Mistakes to Avoid in an Interview.
4. Join a Club
A club is a great place where you can boost your confidence around others and at the same time enable you to participate in something that you enjoy. If it's a club that causes you to take-part and interact with others for it to work (for example: a team based sports club like football), then you'll become much more used to being around others which will help you to become more confident.
If it's a club you are spotted doing well in, then this will often lead people to see you in a more favorable light, which I know sounds bad and shallow but is very often the case - if you're good at something then people will notice and recognize you for something, and can lead them to trying to include you more.
5. Push those Insecure Thoughts Aside
Don't let those insecure and negative thoughts get you down. Shy and reserved people will often allow these things to fester in their mind, and the more that these thoughts are allowed to dwell there the more likely they are going to make you feel worse. When was the last time a negative thought made you happy?
Negative and insecure thoughts being allowed to linger in your head is really like being in a trap, I've mentioned this above when I spoke about how I let this happen to me, in that the more a person thinks about these harmful thoughts the more their mind will slowly start to distort and take them out of proportion - which will in turn fuel these thoughts to continue, which will then only make the person feel worse and so on and so on...
It's a vicious cycle that traps a lot of people and is often a very hard one to escape from.
Conclusion
Shyness is no easy feat to get around and is something that will always remain with us, however, it can become manageable and I hope that with these tips and any others you may have that you are able to overcome your shyness.
Conclusion
Shyness is no easy feat to get around and is something that will always remain with us, however, it can become manageable and I hope that with these tips and any others you may have that you are able to overcome your shyness.
Kamis, 17 Januari 2013
Belajar Mendalami SEO Part 2: Percepat Load Blog
Pengantar:
Hai, artikel ini adalah guest post dari sobat Muflich Kamil. Dalam kesempatan ini saya akan mengantarkan sebuah artikel yang berbicara mengenai SEO. Meskipun tidak semua bisa diterapkan pada Blogger, tapi ada poin-poin penting yang bisa diambil sebagai pelajaran penting dalam kaitan antara SEO dan loading blog. Disclaimer: Meskipun diterbitkan pada blog ini, namun bukan berarti
Sabtu, 12 Januari 2013
How to Improve your Mood: 12 Tips
Having to go through low moods and/or depression is a tough and hard thing to escape. With practical changes to ones life though these feelings can be suppressed and you can improve your mood.
Depending upon how bad a persons depression/low mood is, will have an impact to how well these tips will work. If they are mild enough then these tips may be all that is needed to help them, however if it is more serious then whilst these tips will be helpful for the individual - professional medical advice will be needed.
1. Talk to other People
Having problems and life-dramas can certainly bring your mood down and make it hard for you to deal with them, and when you've got no-one to talk to about it, it can be all the more difficult.
Just having someone to talk to (even if they can't actually change the situation) can really make a big difference because they can offer their moral support and advice.
We all need help sometimes and having people who you trust to depend upon is a comforting prospect. There are those who will offer you emotional help and those who will be able to offer you practical help, both of which you should be (and would be I'm sure) grateful of in a bad situation.
Friends and family members are an obvious choice to start with and can simply be by letting them know of your situation and what you're experiencing. Friends and family members aren't the only choice you have, their are people who you know and are friendly with, yet don't class as a close friend (e.g. A person at work) who you can ask for advice. You can also arrange to go and see support groups in your area or can even phone up support lines. Help from other people can make all the difference.
2. Exercise
Exercise is a great way to lift your mood and is often advised to place into your daily routine as a form of dealing with low moods and/or depression, in fact, it's advised for you to include it in your life anyway in general.
It keeps you active both physically and mentally, keeps you fit, gets you out (unless if you do home exercises), and just makes you feel better in general. It's such a simple thing to start yet so many people push it aside as they doubt that something as simple as exercise can help...but it can.
A couple of reasons to why people don't take up an exercise routine are 1. They see the whole exercising and creating a routine too much of a hassle to organise and to follow-through with, and 2. They believe that it's going to consume too much of their time and they don't have that time to spare.
Well as a matter of fact these people need not worry as it isn't hard to get yourself into a routine and you can work around your time allowance, even if it's only 10-20 minutes a day.
It doesn't have to be something that you hate to do, find something that you enjoy doing, for example: walking, football, swimming, going to the gym, etc.
If you would like to start exercising but aren't sure where to start or to how you go about doing it then here's an article that you may find useful: How to Create an Exercise Plan.
3.Wake-up Early
Waking up early is a fantastic way to kick-start your day. Getting up earlier will allow you to have more time in your day to do things (maybe start that exercise plan), you will feel as if you have more energy throughout the day - which will lead to a more positive outlook.
I won't go into any more detail to why getting up early is good for you but if you would like to read more into it then this is the full article: 10 Benefits of Being an Early Riser.
4. Do Something Fun
Try doing something fun to lighten your mood. It may seem a little childish to some of you who are reading this but is something that will prove its worth soon enough. Whatever you feel like doing (within the law of course:) ): maybe go for some exercise, play some sports, play some games with people? Whatever.
You want to be able to have some enjoyment in your life and by doing something fun can really help you feel better.
I don't include t.v, browsing the Internet, or video games, as doing something fun. Whilst I'm not saying that these can't be fun and/or entertaining, they're really just wasting your time. Coming away from t.v. and the like, I don't know how all of you feel, but I never feel like I have benefited or gained anything when I come away from watching t.v?
The full article about this is here: Is T.V Wasting your Time?
Often it's not even about doing something fun, it's normally about doing something and we will appreciate doing anything to keep our minds off of what is bothering us - it's just nice for it to be fun.
5. Get a Hobby
Similar to point #5 however this is more of a regular and consistent way to cheer yourself up rather than just doing anything that is fun. Having an activity to partake in which is your hobby is an excellent way to take your mind away from the stress you're going through. If you share your hobby with a friend and you both do it together (for example: golf, tennis, pool/snooker, bird-watching, etc,) you can use point #1 and talk to them about your situation.
6. Get enough Daylight
There are depressive moods that scientists know about that are linked to not having enough exposure to daylight.
I watched a documentary about a year or so ago about the effects of varying light exposure to a person but can't remember what it was called. On this program there was an experiment where they made a person stay inside of their house for a week with his windows boarded up and only a limited amount of the usual light making it through, and throughout the week they monitored his mood. As the week progressed his mood declined and by the end of the week he hated the lack of natural light. When he was allowed to have his house un-boarded and the sunlight was able to shine in again - his mood dramatically improved.
Get outdoors more too and expose yourself to the natural light (don't get burnt when it's sunny though :) ). Morning light is said to be the most beneficial and is something I recommend everyone should get-up to experience.
7. Eat Healthy
Eating the right food with the essential vitamins and minerals your body needs to be sustained is what it needs to have a consistent amount of energy lasting throughout the day. making sure that you eat your 5 fruit and/or veg a day is definitely beneficial for your overall health and well being.
If you are interested here are some posts about fruit and veg: The Benefits of individual Fruits (Part 1), The Benefits of Individual Vegetables (Part 1), and Top 10 Most Popular Fruits.
When people are feeling down they can often turn to alcohol, when they are feeling low on energy they turn to things that are high in caffeine (for example: energy drinks or coffee), it's not too hard to see a slight connection to a persons feelings and food.
8. Get Enough Sleep
There is still a lot that is unknown about sleep that science has yet to uncover but it has been advised that people with depression or low moods should make sure that they are getting enough sleep. People who feel refreshed and aren't tired allow their mind to function better than that of a sleep deprived person because our bodies need sleep to recharge, and will prevent, or at least limit, tiredness bringing down their mood.
Not only is it advised that you should get enough sleep but also that you should stick to a regular sleeping routine.
Here are two articles that go more into sleep: The Functions of Sleep and How much Sleep do we Need?
9. Deal with Stressful Problems
There are so many stressful problems that enter our lives that we have to deal with. Sometimes they appear like a bull in a china shop and other times they very discretely enter into your life without you realising it and cause you hassle.
Stress is a killer and can definitely without a shadow of a doubt bring down a person's mood.
Go through what stresses are in your life (if you have them which most people do) and then decide what you are going to do about it. A lot of stressful things are things that can be sorted or will get sorted, for example: starting a new job, moving house,meeting new people, having more work than usual to get through, etc.
Sometimes there wont be a quick fix to your problem(s) and so will have to be something that you have to make the best of a bad situation about, for example: losing a job, dealing with an illness, having social problems, etc.
I've written an article about stress before if you would like to read more about it: The Common Causes of Stress and how to Deal With it.
10. Smile More
Such a small and simple action to do yet can still have an effect on your mood. Forcing yourself to smile and telling yourself that you are happy can have a positive effect on how you view situations in life. If you're always optimistic and are trying to look on the bright side of life, then you won't have as much time for dwelling on the negatives.
11. Stick to a Plan
A suggestion that is often made by professionals and is normally encouraged for those dealing with depression, is to make sure that your life has structure to it. If your mind isn't kept busy then it can start to dwell on matters and make it seem worse than it is, which is why suggested that you stick to a schedule.
Make sure you are strict about keeping to your schedule as it is very easy to skip one or two things on it, and once that happens you can be sure that you are likely going to stop doing more jobs that you are supposed to do, and then next give up on it all together.
Productivity is a great way to make use of your time and has an uplifting response once you've completed what needs to be done and it's this positive effect that is good for your mind. You can see that you are getting things done and you like the results you are seeing and in return for your labour you are able to experience the satisfying feeling of productivity.
Two posts that you may find helpful are: 7 Benefits of a Schedule and How to Plan a Schedule.
12. Don't Over-schedule
Another thing that can quite easily bring your mood down is having too much on your plate. When you have too much to get through and it becomes an endless fight trying to finish it all, can make life feel like you're living for the schedule - which it shouldn't be about.
There's nothing wrong with having a lot of things to get through daily because for some people they thrive in that environment, but for others (and in fact for those workaholics too) when there is too much to do it can become too much for us to cope with and handle.
Selasa, 08 Januari 2013
Denver Photo A Day Challenge
Join us for a fun way of showcasing what's going on at Denver this year! Post your pics on Instagram and tag @ranchhousedesigns and #rhdphotoaday. Post your photos from ANY of the categories on ANY day. Each day we will choose one favorite photo to win an RHD prize. Prizes will vary each day but will be t-shirts, caps, RHD hoodies, inspirational metal art and more. Then, after Denver, we will post each of our daily winners on our Facebook page and our fans will choose our "Best in Show" Denver photo. That winner will receive a free ticket to our April Livestock Marketing Workshop!
Senin, 07 Januari 2013
How to Get a Social Life
A social life is something that most people desire for to be content with - people who they can frequently do things with and rely on for company and support. Ideally this is what we want, however it can be hard to make new friends sometimes and sometimes just as hard to keep in contact.
There are some reasons to how and why an individual can get themselves into a predicament where they don't have a social life:
Okay, so the first step that you will need to take in building a social-life is that of choosing some people to become friends with. Don't just choose any random person who you come across or interact with, but people you may see quite regularly or people you may talk to and get along with. It's easier to turn existing acquaintances into friends.
For example: Lets say that you go to a gym once to three times a week. And in this gym you go to there is a person, or people, who you get along with and have a conversation with. Now this person, or these people, are more familiar to you than any random person you may suddenly meet as you have met and recognise one another, and so therefore would be a better candidate to become friends with.
Maybe though you do want to meet new people who you haven't met before and are wanting to make a new group of friends because you want to change the style of people you hand around with or because you just want to meet new friends. Here are some places where you will have the chance to meet new people and also where you will be able to improve relationships upon existing contacts:
Here are some possibilities you may find familiar and may be able to relate to, to finding potential friends and be on your way to building a social life.
Here's a full article that you may find useful: How to Become Outgoing.
2. Get to know them better
The next and most logical step after picking likely friends would be to get to know them better. In step #1 I mentioned that you may already be talking to them a bit, so now you need to try and take it a step further and get to a stage where both of you are comfortable talking to one another. A good a place as any to start is in the process of asking them questions about themselves, from this you may be able to stem a conversation together.
Most people like it when you take an interest in them and their life and are more likely to give a better response. They will most likely ask questions about your life too. Don't give them one-word answer responses (unless that is all that is needed) but try to expand upon your answer and give them an insight into your life. Don't overwhelm them with too much information though and don't bring up something that could lower the mood, like for example sad news you've recently received, only because the other person might not know how to respond and it could bring the conversation to an end.
Also another thing is to not ask them too many questions one-after-another because whilst people are fine with answering your interest in them, not many people appreciate being bombarded with question after question.
It's also good to keep the conversation light and upbeat at this part of the developing friendship, make the occasional joke here and there where you can (try to make sure it's funny) - some people are more naturally gifted at doing this than others are. Jokes aren't a mandatory thing to do but everyone likes to be made to laugh.
Don't feel like you have to win them over in just one meeting, although if you manage to all the better, but can be done over several meetings with this person, say for example at the gym.
3. Make Plans
Once you are comfortable with talking with one another and you both appear to get along in each others company, the next step is to make plans with them. This is one of the biggest stages of the friendship because without this step the relationship won't last. Your relationship with this person won't advance any further and they will always just remain (and you to them) the guy who I talk to at the gym, or the girl from school who I speak to during science, or the friends at work I only see when I'm at work.
Different people cope with this step in different ways, and some just hit a brick-wall and stop altogether. The more confident individuals will feel more comfortable asking another person if they want to do something than that of a shy reserved person. If you are a shy or reserved person, don't worry about rejection, because whilst it may sting at first, is surprisingly easy to get used to and the more you ask people the less you will be bothered by it.
When asking the person in question, don't come across as too keen or desperate as this will give the impression that you don't do much (even if you actually don't do much) and can sometimes be slightly unsettling for the other person - just bring it up casually into a conversation.
For example lets say you've both been talking about a film that you both want to watch and neither of you have plans to see it, it would be an opportune time to ask if they would want to go and see it with you.
Make a habit of picking up contact details as well as this will enable you to contact them outside of where you normally see them and will make it easier for future planning.
4. Always say yes to invitations when possible
Inviting people and organising events can be a troublesome task, or seem like it anyway, but when you are invited it just becomes so much easier for you. This is a golden opportunity to do something with them and you need not fear about being turned-down as they were the one(s) that wanted to spend time with you - so all you need say is yes.
Always when possible (even if you can't be bothered) say yes to people's invitations. The more you say yes to people and accept their offer to do something will mean that they will be inclined to ask you to do something again at a later date.
Although I mentioned briefly in step #3 about not worrying about rejection, it doesn't mean that people won't feel it, and in the same way you may feel rejected if someone turns down your invitation - the same is true of the individual asking you, and this may put them off of asking you to do something.
If you can't accept their invitation to do something for whatever reason, don't just tell them no and that you can't do it, do that but also come up with another date when you are free and offer to do something with them then. This will mean that although it is a no, it isn't really as you are suggesting that you still want to do something with them. This then leaves the decision back in their hands and as they were originally asking you to do something they're likely to say yes to your offer...unless they're busy. :) In which case if they are busy, then as you know that this person wants to do something with you, ask them to do something at another time.
5. Keep the relationship going
Once you've managed to do something with this person, or these people, and you both got along (or the group of you got along) and it seemed to have gone well, then now you to ask them to do something again to keep the friendship continuing.
Once you've done something once you could consider them a friend and that might be what you want: a friend to occasionally meet up with but not someone to do something with regularly. If you do however want a more consistent regular friend to hang around with then you will need to pluck up the courage to ask them to do something again. It's through doing more things together that your relationship as friends will grow. Some people this won't work with, others will be easier to do things with, but the more you do together - the closer you should become as friends.
After doing something it's probably not a good idea (well, depends on the person) to do something the day straight after unless if they suggest it, maybe the next week or so. If you do manage to maintain the friendship for a bit, then they may start to ask you to do things instead of you asking them, and when this happens then you know that it's working. Now when I said a couple of sentences ago about asking them to do something every week or so but not everyday, I'm referring to the initial stages of the friendship, obviously if you manage to become good friends then you may to hang-out most days of the week. The reason I suggest not overdoing it in the early stages is because they may have other things to do or because they've just started to do things with you they don't want to suddenly do most things with you - you don't want to become overbearing.
Remember you can ask other people to do things with if you are feeling up to it and still maintain contact with the other person/people, this will mean that you will have more of a varied social life.
Also you may be able to meet you new-friends friends and then over time become part of the group.
6. Don't be Picky
Your first and foremost goal here is to gain a social life, so you can't afford to be picky at this point. You may be building your growing social life with people who don't really suit your character but you will still be gaining a social life. Having a social life will be able to get you more accustomed with talking and dealing with people, which in itself is a good skill to have - especially if you are planning on meeting new friends.
Having a social life will make your life more interesting and that will affect the way others view you - as a more interesting character. You will also be more likely to meet new people if you already have a social life and are comfortable going to new places.
7. Don't worry over rejection
I mentioned this at an earlier point in this article but I thought I'd bring it to your attention again just because of the fact that a lot of people get hung up over this.Rejection, whilst in itself can sting like a snake-bite, is not the be all and end all of this world. Everyone face it at some point of their life and everyone deals with it in different ways, but if you stop and think about it, isn't really a big thing to worry over.
If you do experience rejection just keep in mind that billions of people around the globe will have faced that feeling or will face it at some time, and if everyone who had ever faced rejection never moved on from it - then we would not have got very far as a people.
Rejection doesn't mean that a person doesn't like you, they probably just have their own reasons for saying no. E.g. they already have plans, they aren't really feeling up to doing something with you at the moment, other responsibilities, etc. Don't take offence. The best thing to do is to still remain friendly to them and put it in the past.
Don't whatever you do now start to ignore them or dislike them for it as this could well cause tensions to fly between you - it would be better for you to still be friendly to one another and talk rather than this minor mishap cause you to no longer get along.
Conclusion
I hope that these steps and tips will help enable you to get the social life that you need, but keep in mind that it will take legwork on your behalf for you to see results. I wish you all the very best of luck. Feel free to contact me if you have any results or questions. :)
There are some reasons to how and why an individual can get themselves into a predicament where they don't have a social life:
- They once preferred to be alone but now are wanting a social life
- They're embarrassed about not having much of a social life and so retreat even more
- Work takes up their life
- Friends have moved away and now they're left alone
- They've moved to a new place and don't know anyone
- A large majority of their friends in their 'social circle' has recently vanished, for example all went to college or universities.
- They've started to become distant from their friends and don't get along as well any more.
- They don't know how to make friends and so don't
- They're socially awkward around others so are not able to properly communicate with others making socialising hard.
- They've made a lifestyle-change and so are trying to find a different social-climate. For example they're trying to not go to the pub any more so are trying to find people to hang out with who don't really go to the pub.
- You and your usual friends are always busy at whenever the other one is usually free. For example unsociable working hours for one person and usual day working hours for the others.
Okay, so the first step that you will need to take in building a social-life is that of choosing some people to become friends with. Don't just choose any random person who you come across or interact with, but people you may see quite regularly or people you may talk to and get along with. It's easier to turn existing acquaintances into friends.
For example: Lets say that you go to a gym once to three times a week. And in this gym you go to there is a person, or people, who you get along with and have a conversation with. Now this person, or these people, are more familiar to you than any random person you may suddenly meet as you have met and recognise one another, and so therefore would be a better candidate to become friends with.
Maybe though you do want to meet new people who you haven't met before and are wanting to make a new group of friends because you want to change the style of people you hand around with or because you just want to meet new friends. Here are some places where you will have the chance to meet new people and also where you will be able to improve relationships upon existing contacts:
- Work (a popular one)
- School/College (another popular one)
- Activity clubs
- Pub/Club
- Gym
- Events (maybe a local event like a village gardening fair or maybe a huge event like a music festival)
- Somewhere where you meet the same person on more than one occasion (for example a dog walk)
Here are some possibilities you may find familiar and may be able to relate to, to finding potential friends and be on your way to building a social life.
- People who are in your class/workplace who you have spoken to one on or more occasion
- People who you run into often and are friendly with (for example: if you have a dog and take it for a walk and run into the same person most days/weeks)
- Friends of friends
- Friends of family members
- A friend who you used to get along with or see but have now drifted
- Someone who has seemed like they would want to become friends with you but it never developed.
Here's a full article that you may find useful: How to Become Outgoing.
2. Get to know them better
The next and most logical step after picking likely friends would be to get to know them better. In step #1 I mentioned that you may already be talking to them a bit, so now you need to try and take it a step further and get to a stage where both of you are comfortable talking to one another. A good a place as any to start is in the process of asking them questions about themselves, from this you may be able to stem a conversation together.
Most people like it when you take an interest in them and their life and are more likely to give a better response. They will most likely ask questions about your life too. Don't give them one-word answer responses (unless that is all that is needed) but try to expand upon your answer and give them an insight into your life. Don't overwhelm them with too much information though and don't bring up something that could lower the mood, like for example sad news you've recently received, only because the other person might not know how to respond and it could bring the conversation to an end.
Also another thing is to not ask them too many questions one-after-another because whilst people are fine with answering your interest in them, not many people appreciate being bombarded with question after question.
It's also good to keep the conversation light and upbeat at this part of the developing friendship, make the occasional joke here and there where you can (try to make sure it's funny) - some people are more naturally gifted at doing this than others are. Jokes aren't a mandatory thing to do but everyone likes to be made to laugh.
Don't feel like you have to win them over in just one meeting, although if you manage to all the better, but can be done over several meetings with this person, say for example at the gym.
3. Make Plans
Once you are comfortable with talking with one another and you both appear to get along in each others company, the next step is to make plans with them. This is one of the biggest stages of the friendship because without this step the relationship won't last. Your relationship with this person won't advance any further and they will always just remain (and you to them) the guy who I talk to at the gym, or the girl from school who I speak to during science, or the friends at work I only see when I'm at work.
Different people cope with this step in different ways, and some just hit a brick-wall and stop altogether. The more confident individuals will feel more comfortable asking another person if they want to do something than that of a shy reserved person. If you are a shy or reserved person, don't worry about rejection, because whilst it may sting at first, is surprisingly easy to get used to and the more you ask people the less you will be bothered by it.
When asking the person in question, don't come across as too keen or desperate as this will give the impression that you don't do much (even if you actually don't do much) and can sometimes be slightly unsettling for the other person - just bring it up casually into a conversation.
For example lets say you've both been talking about a film that you both want to watch and neither of you have plans to see it, it would be an opportune time to ask if they would want to go and see it with you.
Make a habit of picking up contact details as well as this will enable you to contact them outside of where you normally see them and will make it easier for future planning.
4. Always say yes to invitations when possible
Inviting people and organising events can be a troublesome task, or seem like it anyway, but when you are invited it just becomes so much easier for you. This is a golden opportunity to do something with them and you need not fear about being turned-down as they were the one(s) that wanted to spend time with you - so all you need say is yes.
Always when possible (even if you can't be bothered) say yes to people's invitations. The more you say yes to people and accept their offer to do something will mean that they will be inclined to ask you to do something again at a later date.
Although I mentioned briefly in step #3 about not worrying about rejection, it doesn't mean that people won't feel it, and in the same way you may feel rejected if someone turns down your invitation - the same is true of the individual asking you, and this may put them off of asking you to do something.
If you can't accept their invitation to do something for whatever reason, don't just tell them no and that you can't do it, do that but also come up with another date when you are free and offer to do something with them then. This will mean that although it is a no, it isn't really as you are suggesting that you still want to do something with them. This then leaves the decision back in their hands and as they were originally asking you to do something they're likely to say yes to your offer...unless they're busy. :) In which case if they are busy, then as you know that this person wants to do something with you, ask them to do something at another time.
5. Keep the relationship going
Once you've managed to do something with this person, or these people, and you both got along (or the group of you got along) and it seemed to have gone well, then now you to ask them to do something again to keep the friendship continuing.
Once you've done something once you could consider them a friend and that might be what you want: a friend to occasionally meet up with but not someone to do something with regularly. If you do however want a more consistent regular friend to hang around with then you will need to pluck up the courage to ask them to do something again. It's through doing more things together that your relationship as friends will grow. Some people this won't work with, others will be easier to do things with, but the more you do together - the closer you should become as friends.
After doing something it's probably not a good idea (well, depends on the person) to do something the day straight after unless if they suggest it, maybe the next week or so. If you do manage to maintain the friendship for a bit, then they may start to ask you to do things instead of you asking them, and when this happens then you know that it's working. Now when I said a couple of sentences ago about asking them to do something every week or so but not everyday, I'm referring to the initial stages of the friendship, obviously if you manage to become good friends then you may to hang-out most days of the week. The reason I suggest not overdoing it in the early stages is because they may have other things to do or because they've just started to do things with you they don't want to suddenly do most things with you - you don't want to become overbearing.
Remember you can ask other people to do things with if you are feeling up to it and still maintain contact with the other person/people, this will mean that you will have more of a varied social life.
Also you may be able to meet you new-friends friends and then over time become part of the group.
6. Don't be Picky
Your first and foremost goal here is to gain a social life, so you can't afford to be picky at this point. You may be building your growing social life with people who don't really suit your character but you will still be gaining a social life. Having a social life will be able to get you more accustomed with talking and dealing with people, which in itself is a good skill to have - especially if you are planning on meeting new friends.
Having a social life will make your life more interesting and that will affect the way others view you - as a more interesting character. You will also be more likely to meet new people if you already have a social life and are comfortable going to new places.
7. Don't worry over rejection
I mentioned this at an earlier point in this article but I thought I'd bring it to your attention again just because of the fact that a lot of people get hung up over this.Rejection, whilst in itself can sting like a snake-bite, is not the be all and end all of this world. Everyone face it at some point of their life and everyone deals with it in different ways, but if you stop and think about it, isn't really a big thing to worry over.
If you do experience rejection just keep in mind that billions of people around the globe will have faced that feeling or will face it at some time, and if everyone who had ever faced rejection never moved on from it - then we would not have got very far as a people.
Rejection doesn't mean that a person doesn't like you, they probably just have their own reasons for saying no. E.g. they already have plans, they aren't really feeling up to doing something with you at the moment, other responsibilities, etc. Don't take offence. The best thing to do is to still remain friendly to them and put it in the past.
Don't whatever you do now start to ignore them or dislike them for it as this could well cause tensions to fly between you - it would be better for you to still be friendly to one another and talk rather than this minor mishap cause you to no longer get along.
Conclusion
I hope that these steps and tips will help enable you to get the social life that you need, but keep in mind that it will take legwork on your behalf for you to see results. I wish you all the very best of luck. Feel free to contact me if you have any results or questions. :)
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