11 Common Worries Shy People Have

Very often shy people will be too hard on themselves, and can definitely be their hardest critique. Some of the worries they have too aren't all that uncommon either, with many shy people commonly sharing the same worries. Sometimes they won't even be aware they're harbouring some of these worries but yet they still know that there is an underlying problem at heart. 

All of these worries don't apply to every shy person and isn't something that is set in stone - it's just a list of common worries many shy people have, and worries that not so shy people can also have too.

If you yourself are a shy person and are wanting to overcome your shyness or at the very least become a bit more confident, then here is a recent post of mine: How to get over Shyness. 


1. Rejection

A very common worry that a lot of shy people have is rejection. They often feel like they aren't good enough to spend time with or that their company isn't worth having, and so believe that they will face rejection.

Shy people rarely show their true character to others (except those they are most comfortable with and depending upon how shy they are,) and won't really communicate as well because of their shyness, and so if they were to receive rejection it is usually the fault of their shyness - however not the person.

2. Considering yourself to be unlikable

This worry is related and linked to worry #1 rejection. A shy person may not be very sociable and so can have a view upon theirself as being unlikable and so will often put theirself down, which can be done mentally and orally.

It can be a number of things that causes a shy person to consider theirself as being unlikable and can sometimes be to do with their appearance.
This naturally leads to worrying over rejection because they believe that the other person/people would not be happy in their company and so would automatically come to expect rejection - which when left to fester in your mind can make the  fear even worse. This fear of rejection can then distort their view of theirself and confirm in their mind that they're not worth the time, which is not the case.

Everyone has their own flaws that they won't be particularly happy with but have come to accept them and having flaws does not make a person unlikable. Neither does awkwardness as lots of people experience awkwardness with others but are still very likable people. 

3. That they won't be Considered Fun

Another common worry that shy people often have is that they think that other people will consider them to be no fun. There shyness doesn't help them as they can't really be totally comfortable around others which normally leads to two predicaments.

1). Their shyness strips them of their personality and leaves them in a form where they don't know what to say or how to act, and so can lead to social awkwardness. 

2). The person tries overly hard to be fun and really fights their shyness to try and achieve this so that they can prove to others that they are actually fun. This approach normally has a black or white outcome - it either will work or it won't. More often than not this approach doesn't work as a normally shy person is not so much as used to trying to be extroverted, however having said that, it's surprising how many naturally introverted people portray themselves as extroverted individuals.

4. They feel they won't know what to say

This is a very common problem that many shy people have. It's horrible when you don't know what to say to somebody and even worse when they don't know what to say either, and this will normally produce awkward silences or stale conversations. This can make a particularly shy person come away feeling worse about social situations than before and can cause them to over-think about what they are going to say.

It's not just shy people who can experience this however, we all can at some point or other not because you're shy but because you just don't know what to say to that person. This can feel annoying if you know that if you were both yourselves then you would get along well.

5. Feel as though a single social mistake will make it so that you can never redeem yourself 

This can be a tricky one to get-over as really it encompasses a few different worries. Social mistakes happen - we all make them. It's how you are able to deal with them that will determine if this will become an issue for you. 
A single small mistake isn't going to turn the world against you and to them they probably didn't even notice it, it's just your mind taking it out of proportion.

6. Feeling as though you have to try and make everyone like you

For some shy people they believe that because they consider theirself to no fun or unlikable, they must do their best to make sure that everyone likes them. 
However in life there are going to people who we don't and won't gel with, people who although we may be friendly towards - never actually hit it off with, hold differing opinions, and altogether find making conversation with them a challenging task. It happens, so don't sweat it, just be friendly to people and don't worry if you can't naturally mix well with everyone - there will be people who you can't.

7. Feeling like you're imposing upon other people or forcing them into something

Some shy people, when for example trying to meet-up with others, fear that they are imposing themselves upon the other people because they think they would find the request to meet-up not only as an inconvenience but also as an annoyance. Because of this these shy people will dig themselves into a bit of a pit and do their best to avoid situations where a circumstance like this could occur, for example: asking someone to do something. 
It can become so bad for certain people that even when another person asks them if they would like to do something they decline the offer or come-up with an excuse to refuse because they still feel like a hindrance to the other person/people.

8. Dwelling upon past mistakes and worrying that they will occur again

What happened in the past is in the past and does not mean it will happen again in the future. We learn quicker from our mistakes and is sometimes the only way we learn. For some people these mistakes are moments of their life that they never want repeating again, so much so that they frequently worry about it happening again. They recognise a similar situation to that that the previous mistake was made in, and allow their mind to fixate on doing everything possible to avoid a repeat of it, even if they know that it won't happen again. Sometimes they won't even have made a big mistake but just something small to which they have made into a bigger issue than it really is.

9. Often interpreting something as negative

This can be out of anything but is normally related to what another person says, which could be completely innocent yet is perceived as having a negative intent.
For example: Person 1 asks person 2 if they would like to hang-out on a Wednesday because that's when they're free. Person 2 responds with something like "I'm sorry mate but I've already promised someone I'd watch a film with them that night" (or whatever). So person 2 has already got plans for then and so can't meet-up with person 1, yet person 1 still takes this completely innocent comment as something negative and twists it in their mind believing that person 2 just said that as an excuse to not hang-out with them, which they can then feel socially rejected and believe it's because they're not interesting enough. 
It may sound silly to you but trust me there are people who do think like this.

10. Not wanting to say something in case you offend someone

Now in many cases this is good if you decide not to say something when you know it may very well offend someone, but for some shy people it can be something as simple as not wanting to disagree with someone because they feel like it would offend them. 

I know this to be true as this is how I once used to think. I would hate to disagree with someone over an issue, even if I knew they were wrong or incorrectly informed just because I thought I was going to offend them. For example: One instance springs to mind - It had been snowing heavily and the buses in my area had been cancelled. A family friend had walked over to our house and had spent a few hours with me and my family. Whilst talking the conversation took a turn onto transport, and in this conversation our friend had said something like "well at least the buses are still running". Now I knew for a fact that they weren't as their website which they update frequently displayed that they were not running for that day. Instead of simply saying that they weren't actually running, I instead agreed with her because I felt I would've offended her. 
In hindsight it seems silly to me now but at that time of my life that's how I was like and was the way I thought.
 11. Thinking you are being judged socially 100% of the time

This is when you are in a conversation or interaction with another individual and you need to make an effort to make sure that the social interaction keeps going and doesn't hit a road-block. You feel like it's a test of your social stamina and to prove to yourself and to the other person that you are not hopeless. 
If you make the tiniest error however, you automatically conclude in your mind that you are useless, and even if the interaction goes well you are anticipating the next one and how that 'challenge' will go.