How to Become Outgoing

It can become quite easy over time to become an introverted individual, to not really leave the house spending longer periods of time on your own. Well this will not only have a negative affect upon your social life but also your confidence-levels and self-esteem. 

You may have once been an extrovert but now because of all the time you spend by yourself, you're now a shy reserved introvert who is nervous and/or uncomfortable around others. So as you become more shy and withdraw yourself from the outside world - the less you will want to interact with people which will only make you more shy and introverted. It becomes a viscous cycle where the only way to break it is to become outgoing. But how do you become outgoing? Well hopefully with these tips I'm about to share with you you will be able to become more of an outgoing person.


1. Attitude

The first thing about wanting to become outgoing is your attitude towards wanting to make it work. If you want to become outgoing but are expecting it to just happen like magic - then it won't happen at all. Shifting from an introvert to an extrovert is going to require effort on your behalf so you will need to have the desire and right attitude to want to make this work, involving doing something about it.

2. Smile at people

It's surprising how shy a person can become from spending too much time by themselves - to the point where they don't even feel confident enough to make eye-contact and/or interaction with a person at all. So with this in mind make it a new goal of each day to smile at at least 2 different people (excluding your family). At first you may feel frightened to do so, and it's not encouraging when the other person doesn't smile in return, but don't be discouraged or disheartened - over time it will get better and soon you will wonder why you ever made a big-deal about simply smiling at people because it will be automatic. 

3. Get out of the house more

This doesn't have to be for going to meet-up with people, it is so that you will become more used to getting out of the house and seeing others go about their daily life. You could try going to shops to buy something or take a walk through areas where lots of people are. The more you are around people - the more comfortable you will become and this will help with your confidence.

4. Say hi to people

A great tip to get you more used to interacting with others is to simply say "hi" to people. It could be to a person who walks past you in the street who you make eye-contact with, it could be to a person who serves you at a shop, to people who you work with, to anyone really. You don't have to do it to everyone you meet and is best that you don't as it could seem a bit strange. Just make it another goal to say hi to at least 2 people a day.

5. Make a joke or two

When you're around a person or people, allow yourself to make a joke or two. People don't always want to talk seriously and are often glad of some humour. You may make jokes that don't get any attention at all or backfire but the more you get used to making them, the more you will be able to judge what people find humorous. Then when you finally receive some laughs you will have a confidence-boost and this will help you to relax more around others. 

6. Start a conversation with someone

Now you can't do this with everyone because not everyone wants a conversation. For example: people who you walk past in the street. The majority of people who you pass in the street will not want to start a conversation with you as they are heading somewhere (although there are some that would happily start talking to you).

This tip is usually best when people are stationary or when something has just happened. For example: whilst at the bus-stop, whilst in a queue, maybe something has just happened near to you and others and you just simply make a comment.

You could start with a question (e.g. what time is the bus?) or a comment about something that could be on both your minds (brrr, it's cold today isn't it?). Do this a couple of times to the same person (different questions though of course) and if they reply with one-word answers then you know that a conversation is most likely not going to happen. If however, the person replies with a sentence or asks a question or makes a joke, then this is a good indication that you could probably start-up a conversation with them. 

7.  Further friendships

Try to further any friendships you have with people or with people you meet, or with people who you used to speak to. Talk to them regularly and get it to the stage where you are both comfortable talking to each other and can do so easily. Get it to the point where you are inside the 'friendship-loop/circle' as it were and are no longer just a friend who isn't involved. You may be asked to do something or you may have to ask to do something and if it gets you doing something then good for you. :)

8. Join a club

A club is a great thing to be involved in as it will give you something to do and will get you to interact with others or at least be around others. If it's a sport then you will definitely be interacting with others (well with one or two exceptions) and this will be great for your confidence. You may also make a friend or two at your chosen club(s) which could lead to other possibilities to do things. 

9. Give complements 

Everyone likes a complement and by giving them people will be more likely to give them back to you. You'll feel better for doing so and others will take more of a liking to you - which could possibly lead to conversations in the future which could lead to friendships which could lead to doing activities together. 

10. Be Helpful

Being helpful is another great thing to do to help boost confidence to be able to do outgoing things. If they seem angry it's not your fault - normally people get flustered in certain situations and find it hard to remain calm, so if they do snap at you don't take it to heart. You'll also get used to interacting with people you've just met which will improve conversation skills too.


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