How to Deal with Anger

Have you ever been in a position where you can feel yourself losing control and becoming increasingly angry? Even though you knew this, you just didn't know how to deal with the anger, and you ended up doing something you regretted. 

I'm sure all of us at some point have been in a situation where we've become irrationally angry and made a mountain out of a molehill, and done something stupid, later wishing we'd not.

Having said this, for some people this is more of an issue than for others. This can be because of a factor of many things, but becoming angry is not a nice feeling and once it's gone, leaves you feeling pretty bad, not to mention the person/people on the receiving end. So here's how you can deal with anger:

1. Walk away

Although it may go against every bone in your body, when confronted with a situation that you know is going to make you angry, the best thing you can do is just walk away and find a place where you can calm down.

Maybe you think that you're being a coward or doing the easy thing, but really, it's not the easy thing. The easier thing to do would be to let yourself, in the heat of the moment, become angry. As for being a coward, it takes more guts to leave than to stay and retaliate - that's just pride.

2. Don't say anything

When you're in a situation where walking away isn't possible, then don't say anything at all. It's better to keep silent and have control over yourself, rather than speaking in anger, which will most definitely lead to something else. Angry words will cause other people to become angry and will just start an argument.

3. The aftermath

When you're about to become angry, try to think logically and consider the effects of what could happen in the aftermath. When we're angry it's very easy to do and say things that are hurtful, nasty and spiteful.

Think to yourself; "If I let myself become angry it will only make things worse".

4. Ignore those who try to provoke a reaction

Unfortunately, there are people in the world who like to make people angry and who like to provoke a reaction. So, just act indignant towards their attempts. Ignoring them will sometimes only make the situation worse, not always, but sometimes. You can answer them, but kindly and don't show any sign of a reaction, and they're get bored.

5. Look at others examples

Identify someone you know who never seems to get angry, who always seems to keep their cool and not turn into the hulk. You can learn a lot by watching how they go about controlling themselves, and mimicking their actions.

6. Try to understand others who may be cross

When we come into contact with someone who is behaving angrily, it automatically makes us defensive. Instead of this, allow yourself to drop your guard and listen to what they have to say. They may in fact have a very good point, but are conveying it in a very poor way.

If you can remain involved by listening, yet detached by not becoming angry and remaining calm, then chances are is that they will start to calm down and feel bad about what they've done.

If they don't seem remorseful then, then they'll probably will later on. If you're trying to cope with anger, then you can imagine how they will feel afterwards.

7. Think about your response

When we're angry it can be very difficult to give a reasonable response, and can cloud our decisiveness. When we're are faced with asking something or responding to something, think about the different options and about which one would be the wise one to go for.

For example: Someone tells you something. You could react in any of the following ways.

a) I could respond back spitefully and insult them, causing an argument  to break-out.

b) I could remain calm, listen, and help them to calm down, possibly gaining the respect or friendship of them.

c) I could ignore what they have to say because it's a waste of my time, and talk over them loudly.

The answer I'm hoping you would choose, would be answer 'b'. :)

I hope this post has been of some help.