12 Ways to develop communication skills

The ability to be able to communicate effectively is a skill and is essential for many different circumstances that we may have to face in our lives. These could include: debating; public speaking; socialising; selling products etc... 

All of us as individuals have the ability to influence people, knowingly or unknowingly. How you communicate and what you say, hugely effects your influence on people and is how people determine your characteristics. 

1. Articulation 

Enunciating your words clearly so that people can understand you, will help in socialising and communicating.

When you have to ask someone to repeat themselves because they mumble; you will have
trouble understanding and can put you off trying to communicate with that person.

If you are going to be speaking publicly, then articulation is needed. The audience will have a much easier job of listening to what you are saying and understanding what you're trying to get across. 

2. Listen 

Listening is a vital skill that you can greatly benefit from. To be able to communicate effectively you will need to be able to concentrate on the other person's/people's views and thoughts. You can learn a tremendous amount from listening alone and can pick up on much more than you might think. 

While you listen, you can formulate in your mind an adequate response to the person you are conversing with. Publilius Syrus said "Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage".

3. Correct speed 

Try not to speak too fast when talking to someone, some people will find it hard to keep up and could put it down to nerves. If they are finding it hard to keep up at that speed, they will likely try to avoid talking with you. 

On the other hand, if you speak to slow, people can become bored or frustrated at the pace in which you're speaking at. A good indication of if you are guilty of this could be, when people start finishing your sentences for you, helping you to finish what you're saying quicker.

4. Practice 

Improving communication starts off with basic interaction and experiences. You can practise developing communication in new settings and environments, try striking up conversations with people that you don't normally have with; or try helping out with certain activities, helping with socialisation. 

5. Body Language 

Body language can be a really good indication to how somebody is feeling. If you're body language gives the impression that you're not really interested or that you would rather be somewhere else, the person who you're speaking with isn't going to want to continue the conversation. 

Be careful with the impression you make, you don't want to offend someone because you gave the wrong impression, it's very easy for people to give you a label.

6. Eye-contact 

For either speaking or listening, maintaining eye-contact with the person you are conversing with, will help the experience be more successful and will show that you're paying attention to them. 

One trick to use, is focusing on one of their eyes and then on the other one, then back to the first. Don't do it quickly, otherwise you'll look strange, but try to do it quite slowly and as smoothly as possible. It will make you look slightly more interested.

If you are talking to a group of people, holding eye-contact with different people will give a more personal feeling and will help them to think that you value their views. 

7. Confidence

Have the confidence to be able to submit your ideas to the conversation, being able to think that they are worthwhile and well thought through. If you feel that your thoughts are not worthwhile, don't worry; if your thoughts are well thought through, then people will probably agree with you or give a thoughtful response themselves. 

8. Think before you say 

If you're going to be successful in communication, you will definitely need to think before you say. Any offence should be avoided and so thought will have to be applied before speaking. 

You want to show others that you are taking an interest in what they're saying and you don't want to come up with silly answers where people will start to stop valuing your opinion. 

9. Ask questions 

Make sure the conversation is not just one sided. If you're always talking about yourself and about what you've experienced, then people can see it as attention seeking or boasting - even if it's not meant to be. Try to ask questions and show an interest in them, helping in continuing the conversation.

10. Be patient 

Whatever the topic, whatever the circumstance, try to be as patience as possible. Patience is valued and helps stem relationships with people.

If you come across as somebody who is inpatient and somebody who has a tendency to become frustrated pretty quickly, then people are going to be put off talking to you. No-one wants to be shouted at. 

11. See their point of view 

Whenever discussing a topic, try to put yourself into the other persons shoes and see where they're coming from. A lot can be established from doing this and you can have a higher influence when it comes to debating. 

12. Value Criticism 

When we receive criticism, often we become defensive and presume they're wrong, maybe spit an insult in response. Instead of this, think about the criticism and consider why they would say this. If it's how others perceive you, then be thankful that someone had the courage to tell you. 

If it's not true and is meant nastily, then ignore it or respond kindly. Often kind words will make them reflect on what they've done, helping them see that they were wrong.